Category: Uncategorized

Sinjin The Christmas Cat


      A few years ago,now lets see it was 2000, I was working with a friend of mine, we were at the SPCA in a small town here in Connecticut. We were sent to replace some windows on their building where they housed the unwanted animals, and we had a good many to do. During a lunch break, I remembered we had just lost a cat to my step-daughter who took him home with her, it was her cat actually but we were the baby sitters of it for 7 years. Shadow was his name all black and a smart cat, he used to watch television with me in the evening his purring head next to my ear in my lazy boy recliner.

       With Shadow gone, my wife wanted a new cat again and I agreed. That day at work at the ASPCA I went back during lunch and looked for a cat for her. They had two all black cats, one larger than the other, I saw the smaller and liked her. She was timid and hiding way in the back of her cage that day.

          As we finished replacing the windows we had to do and were getting ready to go back to the shop for the day, I went back in and picked up the cat.I was given all her papers and her records and her tags for rabies. She was placed in a small cardboard box and sealed in. I stuck her in my truck and brought her home that Christmas Holiday.

       When my wife came home that day, I had the cat in the box sealed up of course she could breathe and was fine, I set it on my wife’s desk here at home. I tried for a good half an hour to get my wife to go to her desk when she came home, no doing on this day, she took her time.

        Finally she went in the office in our home and found the box. She opened it up and out popped this black cat fast as a whip and disappeared behind the living room love seat in the living room, next room over. My wife tried hard to get the cat to come out but she refused and hid there for two weeks and we had to feed her behind there and water her too.

      Now it is 11 years later, and Christmas time. As the cat scurries about now happy and fun-loving and playful, we set up our Christmas Tree, it was all bright and shiny and with garland and balls and lights. Each day of the Christmas Season starting on the 15th of December we light the tree nightly and look at it awaiting the big day.

      Christmas Morning arrives each year and my wife and I go to our tree, littered with the presents for others and ourselves under it, and we sit around as Christmas Music plays and slowly open our gifts. Usually it is a tradition and fun and we take pics of each other and friends and family as they do so.

        Christmas came 2010, and we went thru the normal traditions, the wreath over the fireplace, the spray on the door. The Christmas Tree all lit up in its corner, once more. Each day I watch our little black cat, Sinjin check out the tree, she would sneak up on it and sniff all the balls and garland and the tree and slip away. She never touched the tree each year, I guess  cat don’t like pine trees lol.

       Come Christmas Morning we gathered to open our presents, around the tree. I turned on the CD Player and  out came Jingle Bells by Bing Crosby.  I hugged my wife and headed to the tree to get the presents passed out one by one. As I did, I heard a noise above me, in the tree, I jumped back startled and wondered what the heck?

       Three quarters up our Christmas, out stuck a little black head with big yellow eyes. Sinjin had climbed up in our Christmas Tree and poked her head out at the right moment, surprising us all, We laughed and laughed and then of course got her out of the tree. From that day forward she became Sinjin The Christmas Cat!. Goes to show even pets want to be a part of Holidays, Happy Holidays folks!.

      

Santa’s First Tear!


      Holidays are now almost upon us all for Christmas and Hannuka and the Celebration we all look forward to each year. Gathering family around the table and by the tree, each with a sparkle in their eye to see!. The lights all shine and the ornaments glow as songs of the season play that we all know. On the Television are Cartoon Shows and movies of a fat jolly man called Santa we all know. 

         Outside at the stores and malls, people rush to and fro. Rushing to find that special gift for family and friends of mine. Past transgressions are forgotten as you rush and get the things allowed. Knowing you love the ones you buy for, makes it all the better that is for sure.

       As a child I waited like all the rest for Christmas morning and the gifts that were best. The tradition was like we all know, it is a special time that brings a glow. As we shopped we would go by a big fat red man, with a beard so white, holding children all his lap, for the night. He would ask the kids all in a row, what they wanted and said he needed to know. So one fine Christmas Eve I watched him you see and it was the first time I ever saw Santa cry! A little boy with curly hair waited his turn as he just stared. He walked on up and sat on Santa’s lap and Santa said ” Son what would you like for Christmas?” The Little boy looked up at Santa and shook his head, his eyes twinkled as he said ” Santa I want my parents to love one another, I want to know my older brother, I want peace for my younger siblings too, can you bring this all to me, can you?” Santa’s face kept a smile, as he said, It may take a while!. When the little boy left Santa’s lap, and walked away, a tear fell down Santa’s cheek that day. Santa leaned back in his chair eyes red and full of tears and said ” I will try to make your wish come true, this Santa will try to do, do, do, I love you!

      Santa’s own son had asked for what he wanted most, Santa hoped for the best and cried that year, it is the year of Santa’s first tear.!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Blessings and Regrets and Holidays


Blessings and Regrets and Holidays.

Blessings and Regrets and Holidays


      Each year that goes by, I stop at this time prior to the Holidays of Christmas, and think back and wonder, what could i have done differently. What would have made my life and those I love better for all of us. These are called regrets and things many of us think about as we get older I guess.

       Regrets come in many shapes and sizes when you get to your late fifties or sixties I would bet. Mine piled up in my forties because it is when all my decisions to preserve my sanity and life began. We all make mistakes and have regrets don’t we folks, Lord knows it and so do we.

      As a child I have regrets because i was young and stupid and innocent and let events go by I never said Thank You for. As a teenager the regrets involve people you never say you care about until it is far too late. Opposite sex , or romances that could have been are always on this list as I sit back and go what could have been, or what would have happened if I told her back then. We all know you can’t go backwards no matter how hard or bad you want to, you have to live with those decisions and carry on.

       Then comes your twenties when your full of energy and have to hold a job and nothing goes right and you stumble past too many things just trying to survive. At the same time mother nature has your sex drive at its peak, your need to reproduce comes out, love happens and bam, you have children before you know it.  Amazingly you will now do anything you can to provide and protect your children and you get in debt too. We somethings rush things in life not for ourselves but for our offspring so they can have a better life than we did.

       By the time you hit your thirties you realize damn what happened to my youth, and start to feel pressured and pushed by society and family. You love your spouse and your children and the home you built, but the bills build up things get in danger, you’re so busy you drift apart from the spouse and the world starts to crumble around you. Next thing you know the spouse is asking for a divorce, custody of the kids and child support till they hit eighteen. And the courts force you to pay or go to jail. Regretting the divorce and failure of your part in it all, you try to deal with it the best you can and survive.

      The Forties brings regrets of not seeing your children enough due to work, distance, divorce and more. They drift from you as their lives go on and on and they grow to become their own persons.  You work now to save your own life and what remains of it and rebuild with another spouse and settle finally into a routine that works for all. The kids from the first marriage show up finally, wanting to know you and why you left. They have children already born and growing of their own suddenly you’re a grandparent and shocked.

       The Fifties you start paying bills off, the home is closer to being done financially, your children are now in their 20s and 30s and their kids are now anywhere from 10 to 3 and so many it is shocking for both you and me. You meet the grandkids and you love them much and provide the best of things and a hug and a touch. Saying and telling them each time you see them how much you love them so. You try to tell your own children how much you love them and things they didn’t know, but they don’t listen, they are too busy too.

      So yes regrets we all have more than a few, I regret many things in my life.

1) I regret not being a better kid as a kid for my parents sake, although I tried my best.

2) I regret fighting and rebelling as a kid against everything and everyone I could, I never knew why?.

3) I regret never saying I love you to my parents or them ever saying it to me.

4) I regret not paying better attention in schools, but I overcame that.

5) I regret that society and medicine didn’t know I had ADDHD as a child and misdiagnosed me.

6) I regret dropping out of High School at Junior Level and going to work early.

7) I regret not telling my first wife and my kids how much I loved them and still do to my kids.

8) I regret not being a bigger part of my kids lives as they grew up.

9)I do regret being injured in the service and never able to recover and losing my service career.

10) My biggest regret is, not being able to fully convey, and converse with my eldest daughter and make her understand I always loved her and always will.

Regrets yes, we all have a few and yes we all work at trying to erase them the best we can. As you can see, I get melancholy on Holidays and the Holiday Season, I look back and try to remember my blessings and my regrets and hope one day to make it all work out better. , As you shop and run about this Holiday Season, stop and count your regrets and your blessing and lets hope that when you do your blessings outweigh and out measure the list of regrets.

      

Election Cycle Blues


      The Election Cycle has started and Republicans will spout what ever it takes to get the Nomination I am sure. But is there even one among them who can get close to winning the Presidency from Obama? I know to me not one Republican so far looks Presidential enough to threaten!.

       Is it really what the AMerican People want to have eight Republican Candidates running for President and not one give fully intelligent answers to real subjects and questions? Sadly this is what I have seen in all these Debates, stutters, bad answers, fighting and bickering, and yes even some who rant and rave are among these eight. I think the Republican Party needs to get serious now and take some of these candidates out of the running.

       Each front-runner the Republicans have come up with so far is so flawed and damaged they don’t belong running or are not smart enough to answer anything intelligently.

        Michele Bachman originally led this pack when the cycle began. She said some good things and then got bombarded for saying many bad or unfeasible things. She was followed by Rick Perry the Governor of Texas, who tried so very hard to act intelligent and impress then blew it by ranting. Then came Herman Cain a man filled with womanizing  and accused of inappropriate touching and harassing of women. Now , we are on to Newt Gingrich as the front-runner, really are you kidding me?. Mr. Gingrich is more of a womanizer then Mr. Cain and has a worse road record also, when it comes to foolishness and mistakes. What the hell are the Republicans doing, someone tell me please?

       The last man standing and holding his own is all, but, still rowing his boat so to say is Mitt Romney. He stays steady and tries to establish himself as the logical one in this race. The Republican Party though refuses to accept Romney for its leader or make him their nominee so far why? Is he really as bad as they say he can be or may be? And if so what is it that is holding back the Republican Party from nominating him?  Can anyone give me any real reasons? I haven’t heard one yet, what he’s a Mormon, nope doesn’t fly with me, What he originally wrote the Health Bill? Nope we needed one anyway, and Obama made it go through and work so far, so can’t be this.  Someone tell me why please, it’s stupid to see!

       Now I heard some say Ron Paul is the answer, please let’s be realistic here!. Ron Paul is no answer    for a nominee for the Republicans, he is far too radical and liberal for a Republican Conservative. Again this man Mr. Paul rants, raves and carries on also like a mad fool at times. The  longer the run for the Republican nomination goes on the more clowns show up and act out in my book. Someone needs to tell the Republican Party,that if these people are the best you have to possibly run against Barrack Obama, then you are in deep trouble. Warfare in politics in America will not save the Republicans this cycle, nor will they beat Obama unless they find a candidate who knows what the hell he is saying at least and knows better than attacking the elder generations needs of Health Care by way of Medicaid and their Social Security they paid into and need.  The over 50 Generation will speak up at the polls folks, and if your messing with them, they will get ya. What everybody forgets, the baby boomer children who were born in the fifties and sixties are now the elder generation and have great numbers at the polls. If you mess with them they will turn out and murder all of your plans to be President or even get in Congress. Baby Boomer’s children, now is the time for us to speak up and be heard, it is our time to help make America better. Get out, vote, participate, go to the polls and make your voice heard. If you don’t then don’t complain at the results and what happens next!.

Will America ever Learn?


      Noticing the political landscape of America at times is silly unless you are a candidate for office right? Well, sometimes that is true, and may be vital to their plans to get elected to the Presidency, but this year 2011 and into next I think the Candidates on both sides need to wake up. This is not the game you people really think you are playing where you go for people in your own party and that is it. Voting is now complicated and so is figuring the outcome  for each candidate.

       Some believe they need to target the Republican side and the conservatives, others believe they must go for the liberals and Democrats, I disagree with all of that. First and foremost, the candidates need to wake up to reality in America. The one fact they keep forgetting will be the one that will lose them the race, the part of our population that counts most, the Independents. Silently the independents watch the debates and newspapers and listen to news reports. We see the foolish acts these candidates keep pulling and wonder what they hell they are in the race for?

       Independent will determine who the next President is, whether Obama will get a second term or not. The independents are made up of the part of the population, all candidates are forgetting right now, the baby boomers. We baby boomers are older, smarter and number in the millions if not billion range when we go to the polls. So go ahead candidates forget us, attack our Social Security and Medicaid, try to cut them, and you will cut the knees off your own campaigns.  Todays elderly, of the age 50 and over is yesterdays baby boomers results, we are now growing older, smarter and stronger in numbers and will control elections in the end. Take a look candidates at the numbers in America, of citizens over 50, and you will see. We are here in great numbers and silently we go to the polls on election day, do you want our votes?

The over 50 population in America is the forgotten one today. So you candidates rant and rave on how you will cut the budget by cutting Medicaid and Social Security, wrong we paid into it, we want out benefits. Be careful, you won’t win going there.  You want to win, secure and make both Social Security and Medicaid financially solvent and keep them working. Many Americans over 50 today in America are dependent on Social Security / Social Security Disability and Medicaid, don’t take it from those  of us that need it now.

      I tire of politicians who think the only way of cleaning up the financial debt America has is to cut benefits to the elderly or ill and dependent, wrong. I will give you a solution to the debt crisis in America if you want one, listen up.

  1) Stop giving aid to people who don’t give a shit about America

  2) Stop policing other countries and fighting their wars.

    3) Bring home our troops, our weapons and equipment and spend those funds on stopping homelessness and hunger here in America.

 I think America hasn’t learned many lessons over the decades and centuries we have been here. We need to learn to mind our own business, take care of our people and country first before we help anyone else. We have  policed and fought other countries wars now for a long damn time. We went into Korea to defend one half of her people from the other, wasted money, equipment and men and women for what to end up trapped in the DMZ and to accomplish nothing. We then waited a little bit and said oh let’s try this policing thing again and stepped into Vietnam like idiots and did it all over again. America can not police  other countries and fight their wars. These people we jump in to defend to police for and help, don’t give one damn about us.

       Now we got ourselves in predicaments we don’t belong in Iraq, Afghanistan and now Iran is acting up. We are not the police force, of the world we are not the protector of the world, nor are we responsible for how these countries and their people try to kill themselves. When will America learn?

        As some of our troops come home this Holiday Season in time to be with families, we should look once more at what we are doing and back up and say no more. No more defending someone else’s values and beliefs, no more fighting someone elses wars and policing their countries. We led the world for so long, now the world is ahead of us, and we suffer each time we reach out, stop reaching, please. If you think I am wrong here, stop and think of this, America has lost its Triple AAA rating for credit, we have dropped now to the tenth best economy in the world, our job markets are empty and people walk our streets holding signs ” Will Work for Food” , “Homeless”. They live in cardboard boxes, lose their homes and beg for food in many states and areas in the USA. It is time we stopped helping others and helped our own.  

Republican Dreams


      The Republican Party is not getting ready yet to Nominate a Candidate to oppose Barack Obama, but the way this Republican Race is shaping up, not a one of these people could win!.

       Eight Republicans and not one is smart enough to realize they can’t get their own parties nomination, why is that? The way it is going, by the time they get a nominee, people will be laughing so loud it will be over.

     The front-runners who have led the race for the Republican Nomination are silly and not silly candidates at all. Bachman was the first leader of this gang, and she lasted for a short time. She is not Presidential material and she knows it, she is no Hillary Clinton, or even Condy Rice. Yet she intends to waste money and time in an effort just to be heard on a National Stage.

       Then came Herman Cain, He sounded strong conservative, smart and as a businessman had somethings going for him. Then and still comes the accusations of sexual misbehavior, harassment and ultimately now, infidelity. Does Herman Cain really believe he can do what Bill Clinton did and get away with it? I doubt it, Clinton at least had more leadership skills and the Democratic Liberal backing, Cain does not have any of that so far from his own party. As soon as all started to come out on Herman Cain’s sex life and personal life as it is, the Republican Party started backing away from him and it didn’t take them 9 hours, 9 days or 9 months lol.

     Now here comes Newt Gingrich for President.  This man has more baggage than Bachman and Cain combined yet, he is now the front-runner? What the hell is wrong with Republicans these days, have you all been drinking or smoking pot? Gingrich is a man with experience yes, but his experience is not right for America, nor is he capable of leading us to a better economy or back to a world leader position in affairs and might. Some of his ideas are outrageous and foolish just as were Bachman’s and Cain’s.

       What I don’t understand is why  the Republican Party will not just support Romney for President. He looks Presidential, he acts it and his ideas are not too conservative or crazy. Yet because Mr. Romney is a Mormon, they won’t back him? What else is there?  Romney stays steady, speaks clearly and can debate, but is he capable of beating Obama is the real question, the answer is probably no, but close.

      Who is gonna be the next leader in the polls for the Republican Nomination for President? Well, it could turn out to be Ron Paul, but again, Mr. Paul comes up as the most liberal sounding Republican in history half the time. Is Mr. Paul capable of chasing down Obama and beating him, I seriously doubt this. Radical and raw are what I call Mr. Paul and at times he sounds like he rants and raves as bad as my blogs. So what is the Republican Party to do?

      If the Republican Party wishes to seriously compete and have a chance at the 2012 Presidential Election, and win, they need to immediately start to slim down their field  to a reasonable number like two or three. Which ones do you pick then right, well I wish I could say, but I can’t. I do know from a voters view-point, too many horses in a race makes for a clogged field of dreams!.

 

       

Haunted Past


An old song said it best; Life so they say, is but a game and they let it slip away!. Don’t let this happen to you, live life to the fullest and enjoy it all, for you only go around once.

I say this because I know people who are haunted by past events and occurrences in their lives, and one of them is me. With me is lack of love and physical violence that wakes me nightly with recurring nightmares of pokers from fireplaces coming down on me, and large hands that felt like granite and stone yanking me from bed and pummeling me till I cried and slamming me back in bed. Then the voices of the fighting, yelling, plates flying and breaking on walls. Didn’t they know, their children live and hear it all?

I wonder why they never stopped, I wondered why I really did, wouldn’t you?. The screaming would start, the throwing, ranting and fighting went on, yet they stayed married for oh so long. Why? I know if i were married to someone and my life was this bad, I would have left shortly after it started, but they didn’t.

Our parents raised five of us kids, during the 1960s and 1970s. Four boys and one girl. The four boys, turned out all different and we all were affected by this act of our parents in different ways. The eldest boy turned out to be an introvert, intelligent but,he is obnoxious, arrogant, rude and treats people like they are lower than him. The second son, never got hugged, never got kissed, got beat and then made to take care of the rest as the older one played ball to escape. The third son, well he was actually a good kid under it all untill he was beaten badly for lying, stealing and more. He ended up a drug addict and died far from home, hiding from the mental and physical pain he received.

By the time the daughter arrived things mellowed a bit and she got the best of all of it. She got a new room, a new bedroom set, and never once was hit or beaten. And mom even ended up conversing with her some. Yet in the end the daughter was ignored by the mother and given not a thing, at the mother’s death, even though the daughter cared for her as she died.

The final son, well by the time he arrived and started to grow there was no one left to grow up with. He wasn’t beaten because he was the last, he was given anything he wanted within reason.  He stayed until his father’s end. He is a bit of an introvert and fears everyone wants to take everything from him. Sadly, his accusations, falsely accusing his siblings have driven him from his family. This was life in the house we grew up in, sadly, yet we all survived it in one way or another. How? Don’t ask it is a miracle really.

Recently, I took a drive to the cemetary, where my sister and I paid to have our parents buried together, after they died one year and a day apart of cancer. As I stood there, looking down on their grave stone, and the winds of October blew by, I only stared and asked one question, why? Why did they do what they did with us, we were their kids, their children, why did they treat us and themselves so badly?. I guess in the end I shall never know and neither will my siblings. Today, only four of us survive, the eldest lives states away and has a wife to keep him, he can say. He has no contact with anyone, cause no one can take him for real. I have my sister and she has me, we love one another and we live free. The youngest that survived and lives, does so alone and we never see him these days. So like the grass and sands of the cemetary’s grounds as the winds blow on a an October day, we are scattered and lost because of our parents ways. I hope no one else ever grows up or lives this way.

 

Dreams Don’t go Away!


Dreams Don’t Go Away

By: William M. McCurrach

 

I dreamed of peace. I dreamed of joy, I dreamed of things like all little girls and boys.

I dreamed of  love, I dreamed of caring, I dreamed of a family full of sharing.

I dream of all that could be, why couldn’t my dreams come true for me?

 

My Dreams were like every other child’s,

A World of fun, love and things so wild,

I did not dream of what happened to me,

I did not pick my mommy and daddy!

 

I did not ask to be brought into this world,

Any more than any other boy or girl!

 

I did not dream of living in fear,

I did not dream of siblings, who would not share,

Or,  a mother and father who had no care.

 

I did not ask for the beatings I got,

I did not ask to be hurt and threatened to be shot.

 

I did not ask for the memories I got,

Where I wake up running and sweaty from who knows what!

I dreamed of peace, I dreamed of joy,

I dreamed because I was a little boy.

 

The years of dreaming have gone by,

But I still feel the pain and see the beatings in my mind’s eye.

I see the poker coming down on my head,

His big hands, grabbing me, and pulling me from my bed.

I wake up sweaty, my body trembles, my mind races to survive,

My dreams you see were real for me,

Back when they were alive.

 

So, as you raise your children today, think of the pain of my memories and how they won’t go away!.

Please treat your children better is all I can say!.