Today is august 7th, 2021. I know, I sound like a broken record, here. But, having a spouse in Hospice Care here at home, on a Do Not Rescuitate, is emotionally hard on me. We have spent 28 years together as a couple and husband and wife. So to see her end in this way is rough, emotionally and mentally on me.

What do I do now, well every three hours the morphine syringe is given by me to stop any pain she has. Then I try to go through our belongings we havent touched in 21 years in our garage. Emptying boxes, trying to figure what her daughter may wnat, what can be tag saled or sold online, is not easy.

Nurse’s Aid come and go twice a day, changing and cleaning her is all. She doesn’t eat anymore and I must eat and sleep myself and remember I wil have a life still left to live when she is passed and gone. I miss her horriably right now and she is still here breathing away in a hospital bed. I can’t imagine what it will be like, once she passes.

I did not make the choice, to bring her home for Hospice easily, Nursing Homes and Rehab Facilities charge three hundred and fifty dollars a day, to watch them die. All they do is what you or a Nurses Aid can do at home for her, wash her, and watch her.

I was hesitatant to bring her home at first, then hesitant to give her the first morphine shot. I called Hospice to ask if I should do so first and went through the protocols, because I didnt want to without guidance and their permission.

Each day her breathing gets shorter and closer to the end, I check her hourly. I watch Television, I write blogs, I play x-box games and i walk my yard and driveway. Trying to keep myself going and remembering after she is gone I will still be here and have to carry on alone.

What more can I do, I can’t just get in a car and drive away to a store or to see anyone else for visiting or for friendship or companionship. To me that would be wrong as hell. So I sit listening to news and watching movies, bingeing television shows, writing blogs and in the end when all else fails playing video games and reading books. There is nothing more left to do.

When a loved one is in such a state as bordering on death, it is rough on the surviving spouse. we have to make sure they get cleaned and given the comfort meds at the end. Otherwise, they don’t and the pain can be horrible with a cancer patient. So, to prevent the pain, morphine is given, as, they go slowly.

Am I pitying myself, or complaining for myself no. I try to stay strong around her and cry by myself in other rooms where she can no longer hear me at all. I talk to the nurses and nurse’s aids and of course my sister and her daughter if they are around or call. Or even her own sister if she texts or calls. Otherwise it is me and I am alone to do all I can for her, here.

I know there are many others, who have taken care of Hospice Patients at home like I am, so I am not alone in doing so. I also know they survived doing so, so I must also, but the emotional burden and stress can get to me at times. Even though I cry a lot it doesn’t make it easier.

So let me ask, if you read this blog, Have any of you been through this experience of Hospice care for a loved one at home? And if you did, can you tell me what to do to make it through?

What did you do to take care of a hospice patient and how did you handle it? Any Help or comments would be helpful!

AUGUST 6TH, 2021,

The day begins slowly after a long restless nite of up and down and checking my wife to see if she is still alive and breathing. She is hanging on and I know not why anymore, except the good Lord has not called her, as of yet.

The cancer rages in her brain and body and bloodstream and I know it, she can not walk, and she can barely talk to say ouch or I love you, to me. No converstaions take place at all the silence is deadly in and of itself here, in this big old house, now.

The cats went yesterday, because they would climb up in her hospital bed and try to cuddle to her face, causing her to cough and difficulty in breathing. I gave them away to her sister’s brotherinlaw who said he needed comapnions and company now.

I am slowly pulling boxes from the shelves in my garage I built with my friend years ago, to try to get my car and truck in my garage, and that never happened really. Now the boxes are being opened and piles are being made as to what to do with these item we haven’t seen or touched in 21 years, that must go. I am making piles, one for her daughter to see and go through. One for the garbage, one for tag sale and one for sale of the better items so to say.

IT has to be done anyway, before I can empty the house and move to an apartment for a single/ disabled, senior and veteran like myself. It has become slowly a way to keep myself busy and my mind going and my heart from breaking. I push through each day, slowly, talking to myself, emptying boxes, talking to my sister who has come to visit and help me, some too.

I stop what I am doing when she wakes, to get her changed by nurses aids I pay for and those provided by Hopsice Care. They change her, wash her, and check her vitals, three times a week it is three times a day, the rest is twice a day.

I am beoming emotionally drained and crying on a daily basis. I find myself feeling guilty for wishing she would pass soon and go comfortablly. I find myself hoping for her sake it is painless and she will be fine, in doing so.

I feel guilty in a way for I am hoping it will happen sooner then later for the longer it goes on the more chance of it being painful for her and the more it will drag me down mentally, and emotionally. At time I tell myself someone will come one day and find me in bed next to her and us both dead. Then my sister tells me not to talk that way and do something, to stay busy.

I watch television shows, movies and binge series on HBO Max. Netflix and other channels. I write blogs here and try to share the experience with those who will read it. I sometimes wonder if i made the right choice in bringing her home under Hospice, but then I realize she is safer with me, in her own home, and they were not going to take good care of her anyway and never did where she was, in a Facility.

So many thoughts go through a person’s mind when you are trying to deal with a dying person in your home. What to feed them how to feed them, can I clean and change her? What do I do when she does slip away and who do I call then?

The memories of our 28 years together echo again and again in my mind the good times and the bad. The work and the care we gave to others, the help we provided to friends and family together, the roomers we took on and lived with and gave a place to live, who are now, long gone. All come to mind and I deal with much of it in spurts of tears, self-pity, wondering where I go next, what do I do, once it all ends.

I find myself thinking back in time to my younger days when I first heard of cancer in 1970, when my grandfather died of it. Then I find me reeling through the years mentally, as I remember my real father died of it, my mother died of it, my step-father died of it and I had lung cancer in 2013 and survived it. Now my wife and I have been fighting this in her since 2006, now it is 2021, 15 years later and still we fight, but I know we shall lose it, in her case. The tears start rolling down my face when I stop to think of it.

I have prayers I say to myself and I beg god to end her pain and mine too. I wonder will I survive her dying of it or will I really go, with her. Only the Good Lord knows for sure.

For now each day is a struggle, I check her often, I have television and X-box and my computer, books if I wish and boxes of a lifetime together to empty and clean up. The silence resounds in my mind and heart and it aches me, for where there was voices and laughter and tears and yes, even some arguing, there is nothing, anymore.

, So, I shall keep trying to make it through this, probaly alone soon for my sister can’t stay forever, and she must go home, soon. That means it’s me, the big house and my dying wife, alone then.

l I wil order food online and have it shipped here by stores and go on til it is over I hope. Unless my spirit snaps and breaks and I go with her, when she dies. Time shall tell now!

How do people handle Hospice when they are alone, by themselves doing it for their spouse?

How long can a hospice patient last, who is filled with cancer? There seems to be no answer, to these questions!

I am lonely, with no one to talk to anymore, the cats are gone now for I can’t have them jumping on my wife’s hospice bed. So I havea big house filled with belongings I am slowly emptying, but I am lonely as hell walking in circles, talking to myself constantly.

I have to order food, once my sister leaves and goes home, from shop rite for delivery to feed my wife pureed food. I have to eat myself somehow too even though I dont want to really.

I fear what few will understand may happen here. They may find me dead with her, one day, I am so lonely it is going to kill, me!

What does a person do when the spouse they married is here but can’t talk, walk or do a thing with you? What do you do when the one you have loved and protected and defended and cared for, for 28 years is in such shape? How do I survive it folks? Any Advice would be helpful here!

I am lost with no place to turn in a big home with four empty bedrooms and 3 and one half baths, here. Is there a way to survive this process at all and has anyone else survived it?

I can do only so much, help the nurse’s aids rotate her, and clean her and then feed her, the best I can. I try to cleanthe house and do my own dishes and then hers and all the laundry, but it goes by slow each day.

For 28 years, it was my wife an di against the world with two cats. Now I am lost, and lonely as hell and have no one to turn to anymore. What should I do?

I think someone may come one day and find me, in bed with her and us both dead! I feel like it will be too hard, to continue doing this for her, alone. I sometimes get to thinking it would be best for me to go with her into the death lights beyond, at least we would be together again. Each day is struggle to survive here for me. I have never been a big people person, but, she was my person, my love, my life in all ways. what should i do here and how do I carryon without her now? Someone please help me, to understand what to do, next!

One of the most painful and emotional times of my life is currently happening and I know there is no way around it and it must be faced. After 28 years of life together, and 15 years of my wife fighting cancer with my help, we have reached the end of the road, by way of Hospice care, at home,for her.

Now, I can never and would never abandon my wife due to the cancer or her coming passing from this earth, some would and try to move on. I believe in what my marriage vows said for better or worse.

Yet as the period of time in waiting goes on and she lays in a bed in my home, I wake up each day, praying it will be over soon enough for her and I. Trying to deal with her being changed three or four times a day, cleaned the same number her linens changed and cleaned as needed and then feeding her the best I can with Puree Foods, is not easy. I cry and cry and go stir crazy, walking my home, waiting.

The emotional toil is huge upon my heart as I see her slowly slipping away. I cry nite and day when I think of it, so I try to watch television, play a video game or write on my computer. always checking her to see if she is still breathing and with me. Her fight has been my fight for fifteen years now, together we have gone to Doctors, oncologist, chemo, radiation and immuniotheraphy. , Now no more going to Doctors as she has gone through Emergency Rooms, ICUS, and rehab facilities and nursing homes. Each step of the way I have been here, following her, visiting her, talking to her, trying to keep her going. Now, we have reached the final plateau, so to say.

Each day the Nurses Aids come in and clean her up, change her underpants. wash her down and change her linens as needed. As she lays there, and can do nothing to change a thing, I know she is there still, for she breathes and she only complains, when they move her legs and it causes her pain.

The Stress and Tension is a killer for me, I have already gone into a Emergency Room myself, when I thought I was having heart trouble. Turned out, it is stress and tension from caring for her and the constant knowledge of knowing what is coming. I have seen it before with other family memebers of mine. I lost my grandfather to cancer, my real father to cancer. my Step-father to cancer and my mother too. Then my wife started her journey with it in 2006., it is now 2021. In the middle in 2013 I was found to have lung cancer myself, a sixteen hour operation and the removal of a lobe and one third of my right lung, is how I am still here, myself.

The loneliness can kill someone who has been with someone over 28 years like I have. I miss her voice, her laughter, her movement, the interaction we always had. I go no where, I stay with her always trying to feed her and speak to her, without her replying, now.

I have tried to reach out for help but the ones to help are now up to an hour away before they can get here to help me. My step-daughter came running when I went into the Emergancy Room and my sister came from two hours away too. Now it is all a waiting game as she is changed daily, I feed her puree food, and the Nurses and Nurses’s aids come and go. My sister is staying with me a while, for she knows how it is affecting me.

I sleep on a couch in my livingroom as she is in a bed in my dinningroom. I wake up almost every hour to check on her to see if she is still with me. I sometimes, pray she will let go and go in her sleep without any pain or hurt at all. I feel guilty for feeling that way, but ultimately, I want her to pass as painless and comfortable as humanly possible. The comfort meds are in the fridgerator ready to be used as needed. The clock ticks by, constantly, as I wonder when shall she pass on, how soon wil this be over with. No predictions can be made, no prognosis has been firmly set, yet I am told, soon.

In the meantime I end up walking my house, cleaning the house, pacing back and forth, trying to handle it all. I started going through belongings and throwing out things I will never use or that are junk, because when she is gone so goes the house and all we ever had, I can’t keep such a large place by myself, long. Nor does a single man have any use for a large house with four bedrooms and three and a half baths and a half acre to care for. So preparartions have to be made for my own life to go on also.

So I applied for an apartment for myself in an elderly, disabled complex, the waiting time is two to four years to get it. so in someway, I must remain in the house we put together, till, that happens.

CANCER, IS NOT DISCRIMINATING, PREDIJUCED, FUSSY, OR ANYTHING ELSE FOLKS. IT ATTACKS ALL AND IT IS PERSISTANT, AND KEEPS GOING TILL IT WINS!.

YOU GET LETTERS AND PHONES CALLS DAILY ON DONATIONS FOR A MILLION DIFFERENT CAUSES IN THIS WORLD FOLKS. PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO THE REQUESTS FOR BATTLING CANCER IN ALL WAYS !!!

Pettiness and childish tactics, antics and games, they have now been happening since the day Donald J. Trump came down his escalator in New and declared he was running for President. It’s sad, it’ stupid and in the end the same childishness, pettiness, greed and power grabbing antics cost 5 people their lives in January 6th, 2021, numerous people injuries and in the end millions of damages in property. Now, I have a question for the American People, who should pay for the lost of lives, who should pay for the property damages? Who is reponisble folks?

I tire of Trump supporters who claim he built a wall on our southern border and thats his claim to fame as President. It’sa lie he never completed the wall and it will neve rbe completed either. He did approxiamately 600 miles of it, and tried to steal the funds from the military to complete it and was shut down by the courts in doing so.

Trump’s only claim is the tax code he rewrote while President for himself and his rich cronnies. He saved them millions in taxes and in the end cheated America out of seeing his own tax returns. Why, because he has been doing tax fraud for decades now and doesn’t want caught.

I tire of him crying about the lection results of 2020, and his loss. he loss period folks, the numbers in the electoral college were the same when he won against Clinton, 306 to 23. The popular vote showed he lost by over 7 million votes folks, thats not a joke or a lie it’sa fact, wake up.

Now Trump is collecting money left and right and saying it is for a election campagaign in 2024. To those of you giving to this collection or donantion pot, let me say this, a twice Impeached President, in one term in office will never be returned to the Presidency by the American People. If I werer you people I would consider right now the charges against Trum’s Organization ongoing also. Do you think a man with indictments and charges looming should be allowed to run for President again? I don’t!

There are people like Tucker Carlson of Fox news and other Trump supporters still screaming Trump Won and his big election lie. They were conned by him before he was President and even further conned by Trump during his Presidency. It’s sad people are so gulliable and so foolish to sit there and believe Trump’s lies, face the facts all wake up.

As 2021 goes on, and trials and charges happen again Qanon and Poor Boys and Maga People left and right and they end up in front of juries, each say the same thing, Trump called us to washington, told us to march on the capital, we did what our president said do. They ask for mercy from the judges and juries of this country, everyday now in courts. It’sa sad sight to see isn’t it folks?

The Insurrection on January 6th, 2021 is finally under investigation, by a committee that was supposed to be bi-partisan until the republicans refused to participate in it. That is not the democrats fault folks it is Republicans who did it. Now as the committee goes forward i hope they supenoa, kevin McCarthy, Mitch McConnell, Ted Cruz, Lindsey Graham, Ron Johnson and all of these people still shouting and pushing Trumps’ big lie. They all need voted out of Congress and made to never hold public office again.

Unlike Tucker Carlson and other fox broadcasters, I do not believe Trump’s big lie and never could. The numbers are obvious, and firm, there is no recounts or proof of any stealing of any part of the election anywhere big enough to overcome a 7 million plus loss, by Trump.

It’s a waste of time, effort and money and energy for states like Arizona to be doing recounts in August of 2021. Waste of money and time for sure not to mention how it is upsetting and angering Americans country wide, and showing America to be divided foolishly.

Let me say this in finishing this, Trump Lost, the numbers don’t lie, trump can’t come back because the majority that voted him out will still exist in not only 2022, but also in 2024. Those Americans will see Trump for theloser he really is, They are not going to allow him to return to the White House. he is acting like a four year old havinga tantrum because he lost the game. Stomping his feet, lying, crying, screaming for attention and people in america are paying him attention is all.

To all News Agencies, and channels on television cable or not. Trump should be ignored, he big lie should be ignored too. whenhe speaks if it involved the 2020 Presidential election and his losss in it, it should not be aired on your networks or in any newspapers either. Like a spolied child who throwsa tantrum at home or in a store for attention, Trump must be ignored and watched, but not allowed to win. if he is allowed to win you can expect him to pave a path to destroy democracy in our republic and to turn us toward dictatorships and communist ideals. Don’t let it happen America, stay the course in democracy and as a republic, ban Trump from ever running again, with a law in Congress.

Medicare, covers only so much when you are dealing with a family member in serious health status. They will pay for Home Hospice but not room and board in a Nursing home or Facilty, unless the patient is in serious trouble and in pain or angish, constant. And even then Medicare pulls the coverage and sends the patient home to their family, to die at home and the family must hire a Nurses Aid at 22 to 25 dollars or more an hour.

Medicare will provide a hospital bed and a tray to feed them from and underwear for the patient also. You can only keep the person on the first floor of your home also. sadly, Medicare fails overall to care for elderly patients racked with cancer, or other serious illnesses, based on what I am seeing now.

As to Medicaid, it is impossible to qualify for Medicaid under title 19 or any other basis if you have more assets then 1,600 dollars per month in any checking, savings or stocks or bonds either. As a couple if your spouse is in serious condition, you have to spend down all assests below $52.000, you can save for one partner in the relationship. Now I have examined all of this and talked to many qualified individuals from Hospitals, To Doctors to Nurses and Nurses Aids. and I have now delved into the Hospice Organizations also. None of these worry about the condition of the spouse of the patient, like in my case.

I am a Disabled Veteran who served my country 16 years. I have six herniated discs in my spine, PTSD, Sleep Apenea, dental troubles, and even have had minor strokes over the years. I have 5 Honorable Discharges, the last under Medical in 1989. I tried asking for help for my wife, not me, yet nothing, covered her room and board in the facility she is in now, which added up to 350.00 per day, alone.

Now the only choice I had was eithe rpay the 350.00 per day tp the facility or bring my wife home under Hospice Care and take care of her on my own and bringing in a Nurse’s Aid daily twice a day. No one knows how long a cancer patient can last or will live and there is no definitive time line, here. when I asked the Hospice Person she said no one can predict that information. So the cost to care for my wife, will be at least 22 dollars an hour twice a day, till she dies, plus my not being able to take care of my own medical or health conditions.

Now, I know I sound like I am complaining here, or crying outloud. I really don’t care anymore. When all is said and done, these facilities that call themselves Nursing Homes and Rehab facilities really dont get the job done at all. They lack professionalism, they lack personnel, they need to get the job done, correctly also.

My wife has been in and out of the same facility in Waterbury, Connecticut twice now. She is a cancer patient and each time St. Mary’s Hospital has reccommended Rehabilitation for her and kept her safe.

Then she was transferred to the current Nursing Rehab Facily for the secon time on July 5th. when she left St. Mary’s Hospital in Waterbury, she could talk, just could not walk. That was in her records when the facility she is in now accepted her.

By, six hours after her entry into the facility my wife, fell twice and was not watched in said facility, amounting to two blows to her head and accellerating her decline, due, to brain injuries. When I asked the next day to The Nursing Supervisor and another operating member of said staff how it happened, or why, I got no real answers. The Nurses aid called me twice one happened at 8;15 pm and one happened at 1;15 am, that same 24 hour period.

Since those falls my wife’s condition deteriorated at a greater rate then ever before in her 15 year battle against cancer, we have been fighting since 2006. The facility at first tried to tell me that she fell at St. Mary’s Hospital while there, well I got a Nurse at said facility to open her records on their screen and there was no fall at St. Mary’s Hospital. she fell twice in six hours because one, she thought she was home and wanted to go watch television. The second time she woke up, she needed to go to the bathroom and tried to on her own. sadly, they did not, at said facility read her records correctly or put any prevention in place to make sure she did not get out of bed on her own.

Her first time at this facility they worked her for Physical, and speech Theraphy and they did get her walking again and she came home on May 5th, 2021. she stayed with me at home until July 5th, 2021 when she listed to one side in a recliner and could not walk again. So I called 911 and we went back to St. Mary’s Emergency Room. she was admitted and stayed two days, when a Dr. Abbas said they found the lescian in her brain had grown another . 2 cms and they could not biopsy it, because a needle in her brain would harm her worse. He ordered her to Rehab again and we ended up with the Facility she was in before once more. For sixty days, I as her husband had her home with me, walked to the bathroom with her using walkers, rolators and wheel chairs to get her where she needed to go, I put in ramps and cchair lifts and mopre costing me ten thousand dollars in equiptment out of our pockets. Now all sits collecting dust, and can’t be used anymore.

Medicare, this facility and Hospice speak nice and all have qualifications to get her into full coverage for different reasons. Sadly, none make sense to me, why wouldn’t Medicare give full coverage or Hospice under her condition? Simple they said she qualifies for general coverage at home, not in a facility. Then, the facility quoted me a price of $350.00 dollars per day to room and board her. We don’t have that kind of money, so a cheaper alternative was to bring her home to die here and hire a Nurses Aid to come in and clean her daily once or twice as needed, as I feed her, the best I can.

I believe this facility she is in now and will shortly leave in a few days to come home is guilty of malpractice and lack of professionalism, and much more. There are directly responible for herrapid deteriotation from the two falls on their premises, within the first six hours of her stay there. There is a direct correlation between her rapid decline and the falls and hitting of her head twice. I call it Negligence Malpractice. The facility failed to read her records, and take careful steps to insure she never left her bed for any reason and had records stating she could not walk from St. Mary’s Hospital.

So shortly I shall be seking legal advice on the above matter from a Malpractice Attorney, I am going to find a good one in my area. I will not, allow a facility that cares for elderly patients such as my wife and others to get awAY with this. I think I have a good case here. I can’t start any action, until such time as my wife is out of said facility and safe.

July 17th, 2021, Covid Cases in The United States are climbing in numbers once again, the new Variant (D) it seems is stronger then the prior ones. Across America cases grow and so do covid deaths, why because so many refuse to take a vaccine that works and others say, don’t. I have had both of my shots since March of 2021 and no after effects or covid for me. I am lucky I guess, or maybe, just maybe I am smart enough to realize, vaccines are good and keep people healthy and alive. Also we all had vaccines as children, such as polio and others and we survived them.

As Covid surges and more get sick and die, we also have a planet, we have polluted and raped, trying to come back in such a way, that climate change is here and more real, then ever before. Massive rainstorms in Europe, raging fires in western North America, water shortages around the globe and so much more, such as melting ice glaziers, making the oceans rise and leaving us less land mass to live on. Our air is pollutted because we drive for fun and burn fossil fuels, we heat our homes with oil and exhaust all into the air too. Whats even worse is human beings cut down the rain forest and other trees unecessarily, there goes the oxygen supply folks, every one you cut down and destroy and kill. We need to wake up world wide, we need to replant trees and plants, we need to find differernt ways to transport and move around the world, electric comes to mind for a starter, solar power works to make or gather energy from the sun, but, in the end is solar power going to last forever number 1, and number 2 are we draining the sun of it’s energy by collecting it, for our personal useage.

It seems to me, we do not consider what we do to our planet or our own atmosphere much. We pollute it daily, we rape the land of minerals and deposits, we pollute the oceans and fresh waters too, and we cut down the trees that supply the oxygen we breathe, ever wonder why we don’t stop and think, that the planet is changing it’s climate, to try to recover from all we have done to it? It’s not payback, so to say folks, what it is, is a planet trying to survive and recover all we have drained it of and trying to prevent it’s own destruction, by doing so. The Planet can heal itself, if given the time it needs to do so.

We the Human Beings of this planet are the only species intelligent enough on this planet to learn well, expand our knowledge well and adapt to our surrounding to survive. But are we intelligent enough as a species, to realize we are destroying the only place/planet that supports our form of life? Are we smart enough, to realize if we don’t change what we are doing we will not survive, mankind, the Earth and all that is here is heading for it’s ending, unless we wake up and change how we do things!

No, I am not a doomsday person, I am a man 65 years old who has come to realize, life does not last forever, nor will mankind or the planet we live upon. If you can’t see or get that, than I reccommend you, step back, and look again. Life has a span for humanity, each of us a different span true, but we don’t control when we live or die. I don’t know if there is a God, a Supreme Being or a Scientific explanation for how all has come to be. But I do know not a one of us controls when we are born or when we die. Maybe it is a biological clock built into us at birth or when we are created. or maybe The Gods. or Supreme Beings have a purpose for each of us, on the planet. We shall never know for sure, for we are not intended to know are we? We go through life not really stopping to think what our real purpose for being here is, for the picture or thought is too immense for us to really understand or find out. We get too busy in life, with personal joys and pleasures, personal needs, that grow to wants, desires and more. Greed gets involved, need gets involved and we fight among ourselves to get all we want, not just what we need.

I am not a scientist, nor am I a doctor or even a lawyer, or very important person. Logic tells me, as does common sense, with climate change happening, with political unrest across the world and here in the United States the world is changing big time.

Nations and empires have risen before us, we have now had a 245 year run as a leading nation in world history. Will that run continue? Or will, we, The American People, end up like so many before us, Like the Aztecs, The Incas, The Roman Empire, The Chineese Dynastanies and many others, all long gone now. Religion is not what makes a country great, money isn’t really or weapons of war. What makes a nation great, is it’s people who can at anytime decide to change their course of history, and either save themselves and ways and world, or die off. We the people are the ones who can decide if the world survives, if climate change can be controlled and how to slow and stop it! We the people can only save whats here, and preserve mankind and our planet, is we work together, not seperate and staring at each other, with fear, or jealousy, or anger or greed.

One thing all mankind must do to survive now, is compromise, find ways to agree on what is needed to survive and save our world and ourselves. we must put aside racial worries, we must put aside political views, we must unite as a species or we will face the end and never realize when it will hit and be gone. we shall become a husk like planetoid just like our moon, just like Mars, and others. We can’t find another planet that supports our life, has what makind needs to breathe and has the nourishments we need to live. None is close enough for us to reach, are they and if they are, and we believe it is possible, possible is all we have folks, not factual. We strive to survive as a species and we combat one another, we should stop and strive to find a new world, a new Planet, together we can do it!

John Kennedy now long gone, once said it best I believe. He said “We can and should reach the moon” and we did. He gave us lofty goals to follow and reach for. He gave us directions in the civil area as did Bobby Kennedy and Martin Luther King Jr. Many have now, yet we tend to forget them when in anger, or when something seems bigger to us and we get upset. We can ill afford to do so, my friends. we need lofty goals and dreams to stay alive as we need mankind and planet earth to survive. I am, no John Kennedy, I am no great President, never will be or want to be, but I am a man of common sense, loves, needs, cares and fears like all of you are, as people too. To reach those dreams, those needs we all have to survive we must unite not just as one nation’s people, but as the world’s most intelligent and able species to survive!

Most of the world’s human populations have children and grandchildren and great grandchildren or more. For them to flourish and survive and to have a better world to live in after we are gone, shouldn’t we strive to leave them with a better world?

I recently started watching a show on HBO MAX, about John Adams, the Second President of The United States, who was a Patriot and Founding Father. It is an interesting program not only for it’s historic matter, but also for the acting in it.

The Stories of the American Founding Fathers are great and many, and luckily for all Americans, they were documented pretty well over the last few centuries. Now, I am not saying some were not changed for cinematic reasons, because many were, but as in John Adams, the story does stay to the real, in many ways.

During the show which is episodes long, John Adams grows, and shows his beliefs, his style and his way of life. It also shows why he and the founding fathers went for Independence and ultimately achieved it, for all Americans. Yes there were growing pains, seperation pains, and even threats of the King of England wanting to hang all of the Founding Fathers, as we all know. John Adams is a unique indivividual in this history because he was a lawyer, and a politician yes, but also a man with moral and ethical fibers and he maintained them, in his life.

We get introduced as his story is told to those who were the other Founding Fathers of America too. We see, John Jay, Sam Adams, Ben Franklin, George Washington and Thomas Jefferson and more as the series goes on. It shows the reluctance of John Adams to public speech, but also shows how his pure drive as a person and patriot comes through and ulimately makes him, America’s second president.

The times show through also, based on the travel, the illnesses and historic events, like the small pox epidemic, his struggles in France and England as an Ambassador and assistant to Ben Franklin. His flaws are shown as well as his best points and the portrayal by the actor is oscar worthy in my view. Yet it is an older show now, so it was considered, when, it was new.

American History is a facinating one in and of itself, but it is also one that we as Americans, need to remember at all times. The Founding Fathers, who stood up and agreed to go for independence, the way they did it, and how they worked and sacrificed to make the United States, shows their sacrifices, their fights and battles, and the dangers, they faced.

Few, I think today in America really understand the chance they took in doing as they did. Once they declared they wanted their independence back then, they were targets of the British, and the King and knew if caught and captured they would be hung. Amazingly, they persisted and won in the end!.

It is important for all Americans to understand another factor about the American revolution and the Founding Fathers. As shown in John Adams, the women of the Era, like Abigal Adams, sacrificed much for their dreams and the dreams of the country and their husbands. The John Adams series, shows how Abigal Adams was a mighty force behind her husband John, supporting him and raising her own children basically on her own. Abigal Adams was a strong woman, in all ways, who did not desert her husband, stood by him, his thoughts and ideas and in the end promoted him and the country with no one really knowing how it would really turn out. Bravery comes through and shines in the portrayal of Abigal Adams in this series.

I think all who watched it or are watching it now, should be grateful to see it. Some may be bored by such history and facts intermixed with drama parts, but in the end the overall series/ show is a fine production. John Adams the series by HBO, is indeed a fine production, and one worth it in the end, for historic reasons.

I personally would love to see more such films/series or movies regarding the Founding Fathers of America. So many untold stories can be told and so many strong personalities of that era can come out, and if done like John Adams was done, well they would be of major proportions and historic value to future americans.

The stronger Personalities of The American Founding Fathers are amazing to see and understand. Before you producers, writers and others, go head long into doing so with such iconic figures as Ben Franklin, Thomas Jefferson and even George Washington, one must remember, their lives have been done already by many others. Look deeper I would say for others, who were involved but, were not out front.

What of John Jay or Samuel Adams? Or others who stood tall and fought to make us Independent, why do certain figures get the star treatment so to say. Truth be told folks, not all the Founding Fathers were of the same moral and ethical beliefs, nor, were they all perfect or strong in all they do, they were human beings, flawed not perfect.

I can honestly say, I have read much of the history of America and it’s Founding Fathers and all that made this country great and strong and it’s struggles to survive, I always found it fascinating, in how America came to be. For it is in the interactions, decisions and limitations of the era it happened in that more of the story is hidden in my mind. Stop and think all reading was done by candlelight at night for these people to educate themselves. They fought fires and weather and conditions by hand. They still farmed the lands to eat and survive also as all of this was happening in America. I find the bravery, skill and integerity of these early Americans, whether founding fathers, or mothers, amazing, in how they persisted and won in the end.

Were they flawed, yes, but did they succeed in creating their dream, yes they did in many ways! Is it perfect, no, but one thing this republic/ democracy is, is better than any other governing system in the world!

We have our rights, our laws, our freedoms, because these men and women of the 1700’s in America, fought and believed in them and in the end, won to get them. we should never forget those struggles, those fights those Founding Fathers and Founding Mothers of America, for without them, there would be no America! We celebrate the nations birth on The Fourth of July each Year and use fireworks to do so, it is a great tradition yes! Instead of celebrating with fireworks and ball games and parties, maybe Americans should read more, study more, learn more about this country and it’s foundations, it’s Constitution and Bills of Rights. Maybe just maybe, we should all consider, what the Founding Fathers did, and stop and think of the current situation in america and stop and go, wait a minute, the lies can’t go on, the violence among ourselves can’t continue, and we must unite as a people and move ourselves, our country and the world to a betterment for us all.

I was born in 1956, under Eisenhowser. I grew up mainly in the 1960’s as I remember it well. Kennedy was the first President I remember, who reached for the moon an dpointed us in the right directiona nd brought hope to us all, till he was saddly assassinated. I have been through many President since now it seems and under each there have been new dreams, and new hopes, and then some who act like dopes. In the end though America keeps moving on and forward, I hope and pray each day.

I won’t go into the current political mess at this time that is happening in Washington, DC, much here. I will say this the damages done by the 45th Administration and President are devastating, and sad for all americans and will take a long time to recover from, and I just pray it can be done.

Look let me say this, I have a belief, we are seeing the end of the greatest generations in American History when those of us who were born in the 1950’s and 1960’s all die off. We wil fade out like our predessers before us of course, but we have morals, we have ethics, and we were born under an era of a we,we, we generation, not unde rthe current generations that followed us, which are now the me.me. me generations, who just want their share of everything for doing nothing, and do no disciplining or their children anymore.

America has lost the moral, ethical, fiber it once had, from the generations that raised those like me. We spoke wrong to our parents or adults we got disciplined in many ways. Some of us got spanked, some of us got slapped, some us stood staring at walls or kneeling to learn lesson we needed to learn. Our parents, taught us right from wrong, respect your elders, help others, and try to do what is right for your country and family. Today’s generations didn’t get the from their parents.

Go to a store any store, watch as children run around as their parents shop and the child grabs things, I want this, I want that, can I have this, heppens. Now it is normal for a child to want things and ask for them, but when a parent syas no, it is not right fora publuic tantrum to happen. It is not right for a child to try to steal it either. Discipline is lacking in the raising of today’s children, in more than one way. Sadly, Americans have lost their moral, ethical compasses somewhere and have allowed kids to do as they please mostly.

Businesses and companie shave this problem also. Standards are relaxed and they argure with their customers also. I hire a Landscaper company a few years ago. Well it was going fine till one day I walked outside and looked at my yard. Areas were not cut, no trimming was done and one man rode the tractor to cut the grass while three boys walked around with weed trimmers trimming nothing really. When I saw they were leaveing I aske dthem if they did a specific area that faces the road. The boys said yes, so I said hold on let me look, it wasn’t done. In the end I asked the boys to do it an dtheir father came up and stared as Ishowed them what to do. well the Father decided his boys did their job and that he and they were not here to weed my gardens and such things just cut and trim the grass. I told him I wnated it done right an dhad already told him three times before, and i told him so, he threatened to raise my rates. Now I know i hada good deal and a raise of rate was gonna come sooner or later ok, I am reasonable, but don’t threatened me witha rate raise if your not doing the damn job in the first place. I told him that an dit turne dinto an argument and in the end i fired him, for not doing the job and yes I swore at him too. Then I called teh Business owner and tol dhim the whole story period.

The Owner came by later and I showed him what was not done and he agreed it shoul dhave been done properly and said he wil make sure it does get done from now on. we agreed I would pay a little more per cutting. Now, The end is this, 1) What kind of person threatens to raise their charging or you for something they are not doing right in the first place i wouldn’t. 2) What kind of landscaper tells you he won’t trim or weed gardens or trim properly? 3) What kind of Landscaper argues witha customer period, don’t they know the customer is always right? sad you ask me, but it is a fitting example of what is wrong in America today, right there. Lack or respect, lack of wanting to do the job, lack of pride in the job, lazyiness, and no idea what customer service is or how to talk to people. Americans, have lost all of that place their morals and ethis and their sense of right and wrong due to alack of discipline in this country and in the homes by parents. Sad indeed if you ask me.

Last comment for todayfor my blog, I am 65, my health is failing in many ways, from my back and neck, naval injuries, to my teeth, my ptsd and sleep apenea too. I wake up dialy in pain, my teeth chip and break and I have to beg the Veterans Administration to remove and replace my teeth to get it done.

I live daily with a cancer filled wife or did for along time now since 2006. She is now down for the second time this year and back in a rehab facility where she hates being. Will she come home time will tell, I think, but as i see it, I can’t lift her up, so if she can’t stand or walk she can’t come home, really. Her cognitive abilities are gone due toa mass in her head now and she is in and out as she goes mentally. Sometimes she knows where she is, sometimes she doesn’t, sometimes shethinks people are not real and sometimes she thinks she is home or can walk again when she can’t. Yes I paid for a chiar lift for the stairs, ramos into the house, a wheelchair, a rollator, a walker, toilet seats and more, to bring her home the first time. I cooked for her, helped her clean herself, and changed her underwear and clothes, fed her her pills daily too. I even walked her to the bathroom with her walker and to bed each night. But, when she couldn’t stand anymore or walk anymore I had no choice but to call 911 and have her go to The ER to be checked and helped. sadly, that led us back to the Rehab facility she hates it.

But the way I was raised, I stand by my wife, I help her, I will not walk away from her, I married her and take care of he rthe best way I can. I wish more americans and people worldwide would do the same for all of the people they love too. I am not rich, or have a lot of money, so I do what I can as we go along and lal she has is medicare and an Arrp Supplement that I know of. So, at some point, we will lose everything we own including our home we worked to get and keep for 28 years and paid off too. I know of no way, to get her help I tried it all already. Medicaid won’t touch her or help her we have too many assests they say. So I struggle on and try to make do.

But as you can see, from the above, I have my own morals, my own ethics, my own beliefs too. Manners are needed by people, patienance is needed too and an ability to understand we are not all rich, or well off and we must deal with life as we can as we go.

I know fo rme if my wife should die, I wil follow her probaly to the grave. I have no one else, and she is my all and I her all. as her condition goes so does mine in otherways. I shall fade one day too like she shall, she is 80 now and I am 65. We are both in failing health and alone struggling to survive now in seperate places but always togethe rin love and spirit. I pray everyday she can come home soona nd I try to take care of her, and myself too, can I, time shall tell!