Signs come and you know they are there, yet you tend to ignore them, and deny them, yet they are there, what signs am I talking here, simply put old age, and for many the illness one has winning and the person losing, ground.

Illnesses come and go and so do we all folks, there is no denying this, our bodies don’t last forever, even though we try to will them to. We mentally push and push and push ourselves to overcome pain, failures, and more, but, how far can one truly push the human mind to overcome a human body ravaged with disease and overcome mental anguish also?

Pain comes as you age folks, you pain for your youth in your older age. There is the old mental injuries from childhood days of being abused mentally and emotional by parents who did ya wrong maybe, or physical injuries, you overcame in your younger days, come back to haunt you in your older ages. It is a natural process of course, except for those with cancer, and other debilitating diseases.

Cancer for instance, which is what, I am mostly familiar with, is deadly, persistent, unrelenting and destructive. It works in mysterious ways and Doctors and Scientist cant figure out how to stop it or kill it completely in most cases still.

Since 2005 I have stood by my wife as she fights breast cancer, in every way possible she can. Doctors, Scans, Radiation, and Chemo drugs have gone through her body. Then, recently, about two months ago her Doctor took her off her chemo, Taxial because it was giving her adverse effects now and not fighting the cancer anymore, The cancer came back and it was time for something new.

Now for the last two months, it has been Immunotherapy. A stronger drug, targeting her breast cancer that has now for over two years spread into her bones. I have watch her age faster lately and get slower and sleep more. I have seen the effects it has on her small frail body as she began to lose weight now, yet her hair for her is coming back really slow now. I watch her and dress her, try to help her stay clean and feed her daily, I am her husband and I have no money for Home Nursing, or a Nursing Home for her, the only money , or coverage we have for her is her Medicare. So, she stays home with me, and lives in the privacy of our home, and it’s a matter of off to the Doctors and Scans as soon as they are scheduled , the the treatments, then back home again.

I am not a cleaning person, I suck at house work but I do what I can to try to keep it decent here. I do the dishes, vacuum and, whatever I can, of course. We struggle through each day, and we try to laugh as much as possible so she is comfortable as possible and as happy as possible. Cancer is unrelentless folks, of this I am sure, and I am sure any Doctor who is an Oncologist will tell you the same. It doesn’t stop, it keeps coming and coming and killing it or putting it into remission is almost impossible.

Mentally all one can do is, stay positive and fight it in anyway possible, feed them right and take them in when and as needed. I awake each morning and I come downstairs, I walk by my wife who sleeps now in a recliner in my living room I bought her, because she can’t sleep in our bed no more. I check her as I go by, to see if her chest is moving, is she breathing is she still alive.

I know it will happen there will be a day she won’t wake up or will be gone when I check, and I know there is no way to stop the inevitable from happening. I pray it won’t yet I know it will. I have seen this before, with my relatives and friends. So I know cancer folks, it doesn’t change os quit! I wish it wasn’t in existence each day I live.

How many more, days does she have, how many more mornings will she be here, how many more nights will I wish her good night and sweet dreams?

I don’t know folks, but I do know this, I married her out of love and respect and caring, I will not walk away. In the end, I will do all I can to make her comfortable and keep her in a peaceful environment. After 26 years together, I will not and can not walk away and never would.

Memorial Day is upon us in the United States, Parades will be in full view for all to see and the memories of those lost in Wars, or Injured, or those who Served wil be thought of, I hope with Pride and an Understanding, they served not for themselves, but for those they loved and wanted protected.

I served for a total of 16 years myself folks, I did it in three branches of Service, U.S. Army, Army National Guard and U.S. Navy. I didn’t do it to protect myself, I didn’t do it for benefits or money, I did it because I wanted my family at home protected and cared for so no one would invade and attack America period.

I learned many things in the military, one is you grow up fast and mature because there is no one to hold your hand. Two, you learn to get along with all in the military and color or race or sexual preference have no bearing on it. Third is you learn leadership technics, and knowledge in the rate or MOS =Job you do to advance in rank. Each step you take in the military, makes you a more positive, skillful and better person period.

Many like myself were going for retirement from the military some made it to 20 years some of us did not, not because we didn’t want to, but because we were injured in Service. I was injured and still am today with six herniated discs in my spine three in my neck and three in my lower back. I don’t run around in public limping or complaining, no one who was injured in service would, if they have any pride to them and I do.

So, do me a favor folks, when you see a Veteran of any kind, whether injured or not that you know who served, say Thank You to them for your freedoms you enjoy daily in America. They don’t want noticed, for donations or money folks, nor do they were the uniforms to get noticed, they wear them out of Pride for what they know they did, Representing all Americans and Protecting and Serving their Country.

Happy Memorial Day to All in America,young and old, for you we served, for you we protected and we did it till we could not anymore. Some of us died in service to America, some of us survived and deal with mental and physical pains, yet we did what we knew was right for us, and for the ones we love and the country we love so dearly.

To my fellow Servicemen and Women who served like me, God Bless and Thank You from Myself and Mine!

How much Insanity can one President show and how many crimes can he commit, before the American People have had enough?

Donald J. Trump has colluded with Russians to get the American Presidency, he has Obstructed Justice at least 14 times, he lies on average 24 times a day to the American People.

He claims he is not part of a cover-up, but he is, in more ways than one and he knows it too. He is running for cover for being a part of cover-ups in many cases, The payment of money to Stormy Daniels and Karen Mcdougal, the Letter written on Air Force One, he gave to Donald Jr. to release to the press. He attacks the Press daily for reporting on all he lies and does that is foolish, stupid or criminal. And yet he is still President of The United States, unbelievable!

Now he is fighting with Congress over subpoenas and losing in Court! His Financial records were ordered turned over, and his bank records also. He is blocking McGhan from testifying and he doesn’t want Mueller testifying either. He blocks or tries to block all testimony of former White House Employees. Sadly, he will learn he can’t do that either shortly I am sure, they are former employees not current and they all did not work for him, as Advisors or Administration Members.

What’s sadder than sad is he is a narcissist, a liar, a con man, and more and yet no one is reacting or stopping him! Why?

I have something to say to All Republicans who are supporting Trump right now and keeping him from being Impeached and protecting him. I think all Republicans should listen closely now to what I say.

2020 is coming quickly as is the Next Election Cycle. Those Republicans up for re-election in the House and Senate should listen closely, the Democrats are coming for you all. Not only are the Democrats, so will be the Independents and angry Republicans. They are all getting fed up with Trump’s bull and yours too. every Republican in The Senate who is protecting and supporting Trump should be ashamed of themselves.

Lindsey Graham is a disgrace, he went from a man with a brain to a mindless Trump Protection Drone. What does Trump and The Russians have on Graham folks, you tell me?

Senator McConnell of Kentucky, and The Senate Leader for the Republicans, should hang his head in shame and resign as a Senator. He repeats whatever Trump’ says verbated and word for word and smiles as he screws the people of the United States and Kentucky too.

The biggest problem though for the Republicans is this, they are paving a new path for a President to tread and walk down, by allowing Trump to abuse and misuse the powers of the Presidency and overstepping his bounds.

I offer this to all Republicans supporting Trump now and protecting him, whether it is 2021 or 2025, when a Democrat takes over the Office of the Presidency, don’t cry when they do the same things Trump is doing now, and get away with it, all too. You set the stage for it and it will be your fault, not the Democrats. So when a Democratic President stands up and refuses to answer subpoenas, or lies to the country 24 times a day, or commits Obstruction of Justice 14 times or colludes with another country who is our enemy, don’t cry and go crazy. You won’t have one leg to stand upon, because you let Trump do it now! Remember an old adage Republicans, what’s good for the goose is good for the gander!

Republicans should hang their heads in shame for even Nominating Trump for the Presidency, it’s a shame,I am sure Americans will never let them live down!

Instability is something the American People should not have to put up with in their President!

Donald John Trump is a narcissist, a liar and a con man, but even worse is his unstable emotional reactions to all that is happening to him, from all the investigations pointed into his businesses and his life.

I remind all, President Andrew Johnson was under Impeachment Proceedings and did his job in the 1800’s, Richard Nixon, was under four articles of Impeachment in the 1970s and he still did his job to defend and protect the country and more. William Jefferson Clinton, under Impeachment Hearings did the same, he buckled down and completed his work for the American People and the country also. So, why can’t Trump?

Each day more and more information about Trump comes out, his lies, his crimes, his misdemeanors and his refusal to work with Congress and his fighting of all supeneoas is sad!

His losing in the courts has just begun, he lost on his Tax Returns and his financial records this week as both Judges said the banks and IRS must turn his taxes over and financial records. Two banks had to give in and turn records over already and more are coming. Congress, both Houses will get to the truth very soon. As to 2020 and the next Presidential Election, it will all depend on what is revealed and how deep his crimes go, and how bad they affect his abilities to perform as President.

Right now currently, Trump’s Emotional instability is threatening the United States from within. His inability to remain emotionally stable is affecting his work as President, he will not work with Congress he said himself until they stop investigating him. Guess what Trump, it is their job as Congress to keep oversight of the Executive Branch and you as President. The forefathers wrote it into the Constitution, as a Protection against a President who may be corrupt, unstable, or incapable of running his office and doing his job. And it is worded in such a way that, it would be applicable to anyone who holds the office.

I sit safe Americans, to have an incapable, inefficient, emotionally unstable, narcissistic, individual running our country? Is it safe to have a man in the Presidency who used Russians to get the Office, and spent Russian rubles to advertise for said office and even asked the Russians for help publically on national Television? You tell me folks, Please?

As we close in on the start of the Debates for the next President of the United States, we need a stable personality, an educated person, one who makes sense and can work with both Houses of Congress and both Parties and any independents.

We need one who will tear down Trump’s tariffs, tear down his stupid wall and fence, refinance and repair medicare and medicaid and social security. One who will establish medical insurance for all , including dental and prescriptions too. We need a candidate who is brave enough to send people to Canada and other countries that have healthcare for all, to see how they do it, and to bring it to America, so all are covered. We need to know how they do it, and get it done properly for all Americans here in the USA.

As to Infrastructure, we have a crumbling one currently. Water pipes are giving out, sewage pipes too, and the streets are in a sorry condition and getting worse, in each state and across america. It must be fixed, but it must me managed, controlled and fixed properly, not half assed. The Trump Administration has too many unqualified people running departments they don’t belong in. Devos does not belong running Education, for one she is at a total loss. he is not the only one running a massive Department that has no idea what she is doing, Ben carson just showed he has no idea what his job is either as Secretary of Housing and Urban Development. It’s sad reflection of the mess we are in today, with Trump as President.

President Trump is guilty of many Crimes and Misdemeanors, and Obstruction of Justice and in my opinion collusion with Russia to win the presidency. While Trump will scream and yell and talk till he is blue in the face or gone from office, he didn’t do it, he is lying and it is becoming apparently clear to all Americans slowly, and while nancy Pelosi is trying to stop Impeachment Proceedings from starting in the House, because it will take too much time, and The Senate will probably protect Trump, the bottom line is Trump is obviously in need of Impeachment for not, doing his job as President now. It’s time the Congress and The House of Representatives, for the Protection of The Republic and our Democracy, and the Protection of the American People start Impeachment Proceedings and get the Truth out!

We in America live in a Republic and Democracy, the ForeFathers, Washington, Adams, Jefferson, Franklin and the rest built this form of government so Americans would have a say in how they are governed and by who, plus for the freedoms we all enjoy. Freedom of Speech, The Right to bear arms. Religious choice and more. What I can’t understand is how we got to the point we are today.

We are a nation being held captive by a President, who thinks he is God or King, take your choice. He is ordering people to ignore subpoenas, left and right, he is wasting America’s resources and time fighting legal battles in courts who are saying he is wrong already and just started. The Court that said hand over Trump’s Financial records in 7 days, did not lie folks, he is a citizen of the united states, and like all of us has no special right to ignore subpoenas, he has no right to hide.

He ran for President and won and got the office with financial as well as political help from Russia and Putin and yet he believes like Putin he is a king or God! Sadly, America is suffering from the mistake of about 300,000 voters. I remind all Hillary Clinton won the popular vote in 2016 and should be President not Trump. Trump sold America to Putin, and Russia to get the office using rubles and russian agents to get there. It is sad!

Trump has failed as President, he lies to America daily on average 24 times per day.

He Failed in North Korea, Afghanistan, Iran, and Iraq too. He is no big deal maker or businessman either. His so called book The Art of The deal was written by someone else and like everything else, he paid to have his name on it. It’s a presidency full of lies and builty on a con game.

I just want to let everyone know if he starts a war with Iran, he can’t lie or con his way out of the millions of people he will get killed in doing so. It won’t bother him too much, he is a narcissist and has no conscience, but what it would do to American Parents whose children, would die for no good reason, is a lot. You can’t bully nations, you can’t threaten them and expect no consequences folks, they won’t take it!. You can bet Iran, Iraq and Afghanistan are not going to sit there if attacked and not fight back, they will and it will American Military Personnel, who will pay the initial and final cost of what Trump orders. Is this what Americans want a fight,a war with Iran? I think not,I have said this before and few get it when I do, you speak to Trump Supporters, ask them why they support Trump and the first thing out of their mouth is the economy. I just can’t believe people don’t see through that lie by now.

Food prices and clothing will rise now after his Tariffs. No jobs came back as he promised in 2015 and 2016, if anything jobs are leaving or being laid off. People barely get by daily and the rich keep getting richer under Trump.

We now have no HealthCare Coverage that is worth anything, anymore, except Medicare and Medicaid and they are now under the threat of being dismantled and destroyed by Trump too. Trump Care is a bunch of crap is all, he didn’t want ObamaCare to be out there because it was Obama’s and he hates Obama.

Day by day the political atmosphere in Washington, DC gets worse, A president running amok and doing what he pleases to break laws, avoid telling the truth and stopping congress from doing their overseeing job is wrong. Avoiding subpoenas left and right, ordering former government employees not to testify to Congress is wrong too. Trump is just wrong folks, why is America not reacting of doing anything?

Someone tell me, why a lying, con man is running America today and no one is reacting please! Doesn’t Congress have the guts to do their job and take this President down a notch and control him in some way.

I know one thing, if Trump starts a war with Iran, or Afghanistan, or Iraq or another country in the middle east, and the death totals start mounting up, Congress and the American People will regret not doing anything to prevent it and holding him in check.

The Trump Empire and the Trump so called Dynasty is built on lies and crimes and cons folks. he never belonged in the White House as President and he is America’s biggest mistake and a walking lie!

What bother me most is this, how many blind loyal Trump supporters are out there now and how far will they allow this one man to go? How far will American women allow him to go and attack Roe V Wade and take away their rights to control their own bodies? How far will America allow him to push the Supreme Court to the right, before they realize he is politicizing the Courts.

As the price of food and clothing and needs rise in America, jobs disappear, ask Ford Motor Company 7000 white collar jobs are going now, why? They can’t keep there people because they can’t sell cars like they used to, especially under Trump. Steel tariffs and more are killing the Auto industry now. It’s Trump’s fault no one else’s.

I tire of the economy is why we voted for Trump and will again because he created it, it’s a lie folks, like all he says. The economy was built under Obama and stabilized before Obama left office and rising as he left office. Trump is riding Obama’s economy and decisions not his own, he has no knowledge of economics or how it even works, ask him go ahead if your a reporter. I guarantee he has no idea what an economic principle is or how it even works. This man is a puppet who reacts only when he feels pressured, or attacked, he has no knowledge at all. Wharton Business College does not prepare one for the Presidency or tpo run the American Government folks.

If you think Wharton Business College is a great school, they need o explain why there biggest named Graduate Donald John Trump, had to commit and file for so many bankruptcies! How does one end up filing bankruptcy four times and losing casinos? It is a sad, sad, story if you look for the facts. Take a closer look America, for if you re elect him, well you get the idea! he has done enough damage in less then three years in office already, it;s time Americans stop coddling him, protecting his and enabling him and his bull, Donald Trump needs to lose in 2020 and he needs to be forgotten piece of American History and a large mistake. He’s a narcissist, he vain, a liar and incompetent also. Why does an American President stand before the American People and lie daily, boldly?

Climate Change is real folks. Look around you as tornados hit us, hail storms, and constant rain storms,areas that used to get sun are now darker, the sun is not as strong as before.

Mankind has driven the earth to the breach of destruction with it’s grabbing, taking and using up of planetary resources. Look around you folks as the oceans rise, and darkness stays with us longer even in our summer months.

Mankind has done itself in and used up the planet at such a high rate it can not replenish itself fast enough, because the climate change prevents it from doing do. Gases, and oils pollute our air, people cut down trees to build homes and hotels and malls, and don’t realize, the trees and plants supply the oxygen we breath. Leave the trees be, plant more trees, we have the carbon dioxide they use to live, and they create the oxygen we need to live. Balance must be maintained folks or mankind goes south.

That said let’s discuss our future generations. We all, have relatives younger or the same age. If you have children you hope they will produce children of their own also and carry on the family name right? Grandchildren out there belonging to you maybe?

Whatever the case may be,conservation is needed, climate control is not possible without changing how we live. Pollution, plastics, tree removals all must stop. The Ocean has more plastic and garbage in t then ever before and it is killing off the aquatic life also.

How far does mankind go before it wakes up and finds out it killed its own homeworld? It’s getting there folks, empty coal mines sit and stare back at us, plastic bags of garbage and plastic bottles come in on the waves from the oceans. The air quality is getting worse and even our scientist know the truths and try to tell us it but we ignore them, so they try to cope by making man made products of meat and vegetables, so we won’t run out of food. The waters are getting so polluted, we bottle water so much, we are draining the freshwater resources on the planet and running em dry. Where will mankind go and what will we do next?

We have reached the moon and Mars folks, neither are habitable for mankind! So, where will mankind go, once the earth we live on a call home, is depleted of all resources?

We kill our animals to eat them, we waste grains and farm products like crazy each day and then we go out and cut down the plants that give us the very oxygen we breath! When will it all change folks, so the earth as a planet can recover and come back from this brink of disaster it faces right now?

Yeah, I know it sounds so destructive and depressing right, the fact is it is a reality coming at us daily. It is not a storyline or lie folks, look around closely and you shall see. Sadly, Mankind is killing it’s own home, it’s life blood is the earth, without it, no planet we have found as of yet has the atmosphere we need to survive, can grow or produce the food we need, so where will mankind go is the next real question, isn’t it!

I will be long gone by the time it happens, but, mankind if it wants to survive better consider all I am saying, clean the air, clear the pollution, plant the trees, create oxygen, find alternatives to wasting food products and vegetables and meat. Clean up the oceans folks, we are killing what cleans and keeps the planet going for us. Wake up now, before it is too late folks!

Here is a fact few know, in my life about me. I have lived with cancer, in my life, since 1970.

In 1970, we were in Dunedin, Florida, by we I mean my mother, my three brothers and our sister. My mother had taken to florida to move down there that year, the intention was to live there for the rest of our lives.

What occurred was a phone call from our father at the time. He called her and told her her father had cancer and was dying of it. Turns out her was in a NUrsing Home at the time and slowly dying from it. He died in 1971 in June, death caused by prostate cancer.

1971 also introduced me to a girl with cancer also, or who would be diagnosed with it shortly in high school. She had Ovarian Cancer and she was a nice girl, always smiling laughing and enjoying life at the time. She would not die until she was 62 years old. Her kidneys failed and the cancer advanced, she died with no kidneys.

Cancer it seems never disappears from my life, and believe me I wish it would. It would raise it’s head again in 1990. I came home from serving my country in the Navy for 16 years and as I was going through a divorce. I then found out Dad had prostate cancer and was dying from it. He would pass in October of 1990.

During his bout with cancer which killed him in 9 months, all of us were called to a hospital and informed Mom had cancer also.She died October of 1991, one year and one day after her husband. We buried both in one grave together for eternity.

Yet Cancer was not done popping up in my life. I remarried in 2000. In 2006 my second wife came down with breast cancer. We went through chemo, radiation treatments, for a year, the cancer went into remission.

Then in 2013, I was hit with Lung Cancer!. I was a smoker for many years and had quit, seven years before. It was found on a Pet Scan, by the Veteran’s Hospital here. One month after the scan, a specialist from Yale New Haven Hospital, took a lobe and one third of my right lung. I survived, no chemo, no radiation period and so far I am still clear, and it is 2019.

But Cancer doesn’t stay in remission, it came back for my wife in 2015, and we have been fighting it in her, now since then. Radiation, Chemo treatments continued, and it was one, a week every week for three weeks and only one week off for her. recently that changed.

Her Doctor stopped her tavial chemo treatments now and switched her to Immunotherapy now. Every three weeks she gets treated again now and we just finished the third one last week. One more and it is back to scans for her to see if it is working.

I have lived through it so many times, I am now seeing it may not be working for her. Her breast cancer is now in her bones and has been now, for almost two years. Her appetite is less, she has lost weight now and sleeps more than ever before.

I understand and have faced people losing the cancer fight before and these are a few of the first signs of that. Sadly, I know she will not last forever and the inevitable will happen. We remain positive and we hope for the best and I sit and have sat for hours and hours of treatments for her. I don’t complain I stay here, I take her in and I bring her home. I feed her when she is hungry, I help her shower and dress also. I clean thouse, i do the dishes and we keep moving along. My only question is really, how much time do we have left?

I watch, I do,and I stay, I am not going anywhere!. She is my wife, i married her for better or worse, through sickness and health. I could never walk away and i will never.

The Cancer Battle continues, and I shall continue it and with her, till, Death Do Us Part!

The current battle/ fight between the TRump’s Administration and Congress doing it’s oversight job, has gone too far now.

No President has the right to have people who work in the American Government ignore subpoenas from Congressional Committees, no President is a King who can say no to Congressional Oversight, America does not work this way folks. No President should be allowed to do as he pleases and ignore the Senate and House!

No President should be able to appoint a Attorney General who is supposed to be representing the american People and make him the President’s Personal Attorney at the taxpayers expense.

Congress has had patience and tried to be polite and still request the documents they need to do their job, but, Trump and his administration are still blocking it all at every turn! Why? And How long will Congress allow it to continue, maybe until Trump starts a war with Iran?

Let’s talk about the existing Impeachments, that were started in Congress in America’s History.

President Andrew Johnson was impeached, but not removed from office in the 1800’s. He was Impeached for firing Secretary of War Stanton.

Richard M. Nixon, Impeached for Watergate, and Lying to the American People. He was forced to resign or face the possibility of being dragged to jail from the White House. So Richard Nixon Resigned and took the easy way out.

William Jefferson Clinton, Impeached for lying to the American People about an affair with an intern Monica Lewinsky, or as one commentator on CNN who is female put it, he was Impeached for a blow job!. Remained in Office.

All three of the above Presidents went through Impeachment Proceedings and had Articles of Impeachment written on them. I remind all Americans and Congress too, both Houses, none of the above three, dared to deal with Russia, none of the three colluded, conspired with a known enemy of the United States to win the Presidency. None of the above lied to the American People on an average of 24 times a day. None of the above Obstructed Justice 14 times! So why is Trump not being Impeached?

The answer lies in the Vice Presidency Office. Mike Pence is a religious zealot and is worse than Donald J. Trump. Congress knows it and so do the American People. Sadly, it is the honest truth.

In each of the above cases of Impeachment, each President did more for the country then Donald J. Trump will ever do. I have faced many Trump Supporters in conversation now, and when you ask them, “What has President Trump done for the country and its people?” They always answer, ” He’s great for the economy!” He isn’t folks he inherited the economy belonging to President Obama and is riding it’s coattails. He has no other accomplishment period, to name. The wall is not needed and he claims he is building it, he hasn’t as of yet and all it will do is make an enemy out of Mexico. He is only trying to build a wall, because Ann Coulter of Fox News told him, ” Mr. President if you don’t build the wall, you will have no legacy as President.” So Trump had a plaque put on a part of the fence he rebuilt that has his name on it. Trump’s Legacy folks!. Leave his name and brand behind for all to see.

He has lied and cheated millions out of money in his lifetime, he has lied about being a self-made billionaire folks, his daddy left him 16 million dollars at 4 years old!

Erin Burnett of CNN, just aired a expose of Trump’s Business on CNN. He cheated lied and sold his name to people to make money, promising to build buildings he never did and cheated poor people out of money. It’s sad!

Donald J. Trump is no great builder, he is no great business man either, he has filed bankruptcy so many times the courts can see him coming. He is a walking, talking con man is all. He Lost 1.17 Billion Dollars in under ten years folks! read the reports!

He failed in North Korea, he failed in Afghanistan, he failed in Iran now and he will fail wherever he goes. He is not a deal maker and even the book Art of The Deal was not written by him. Sadly, his name is on it, yet he didn’t write a word of it.

He has his Trump surrogates out everywhere on Television, protecting his name and just making outrageous statements all the time. Yet, I must admit, they are fewer now if anyone has noticed.

Steve Cortess, The Former Senator from PA. Santorum, are ones still allowed on CNN these days. If anyone says anything bad about Trump they come in to defend him in anyway they can, it’s a sad sight to see. I wonder if they or William P, Barr, realize they are throwing away their reputations for a con man who has conned America, The American People and the World for a long time.I wonder what they will do when they realize, no one will hire them, after Trump is gone.

When you reach your sixties, you really stop looking back anymore unless someone out of your past makes you. Looking back I have finally realized is not worth it anymore, except for comparing things going on in your present so you don’t make the same mistakes twice. It’s called going on two biases to make a decision, one a comparative look at the past and why you did what you did and then, looking at the present and what is going on and comparing it to do what you must to advance your life, your loved ones life, or financial or personal standing or reputation.

Aging is a process we all do, and as we age we mature, we learn what is acceptable by society and what isn’t, we learn the laws, the principals and the morals and ethics better. We rely on ethics, morals and principals to make our decisions in the present along with the memories of the past decisions we already have lived through. So when a decision must be made we make it for the good of ourselves, and all of the ones we love, in such a way it will not affect our lives at all.

It takes an average human being whether male or female many years to mature. We all mature at different rates and every now and then you find one or two who may never mature, because they resist it. I have seen some and just ignore them and move away from them.

Aging is a process all humans must face, out bodies give out, our teeth, our back or limbs, artritis sets in or muscle sprains and aches. We limp along still smiling for public consumption and we refuse to give up. But, not all of us are mentally strong enough to keep going, nor do all of us have the tolerance for pain, we each feel pain at different levels and our systems have their limits both physically and mentally. I know I have mine and currently I am getting to the breaking point physically, but I refuse to surrender yet.

My grandfathers on both sides, died at the same age 71. They reached their limits from cancer, and I am 63 now. I tire of pain of all kinds, physically, and try to avoid mental pain in anyway I can. I have suffered enough in my life I believe and I need no more. I had a rough childhood, and as I grew older rough other experiences too, it caused PTSD from my childhood and my military life too. So I try to stay safe by avoiding any involvement with people who will try to hurt, antagonize, upset or anger me in anyway.

As a child I lived in a fantasy world of comic books to survive real life. As a young adult I reached out to teach others art, and help them overcome personal problems or family problems while avoiding my own. I had surrogate parents replacing the ones that hurt me and surrogate siblings I called friends too. It’s was all a part of my life I have lived.

I struggled in the military at first, because I had a hard time understanding rank and position until I reached some myself. I overcame all of it in my military life and served 16 years, not bad ya ask me. I learned in the end how to fit in and make it work for me, was by emulating those above me, and learning what they knew. It worked for me in the end.

I tried my damnious in my first marriage to make it work, but, in the end it wasn’t I who wanted the divorce it was her. I had no choice at the time to leave my two daughters behind I had no place ot care for them and no way to do it by myself as a man.

I overcame this later by finding them, contacting them, explaining to them and trying to help them from afar. I am not rich enough to be traveling 500 miles at a clip each way in today’s society and economy. They are holding their own in their own ways and living their own lives and raising their own now.

I do not justify what I did as right or wrong only as necessary at the time I did it. I apologized, I tried to make the relationships work as best I could with both of them. If it pays off in the end I will see, if it doesn’t I have done all I could do.

It doesn’t stop the mental pain, it doesn’t kill the physical pains, an dt sure as hell doesn’t stop the emotional turmoil I live with daily for leaving them behind, but I struggle through. I have no choice, life doesn’t stop for anyone or thing, it rolls on until we are no more and them they dispose of our bodies by cremation or burial, put up a gravestone with your name on it, the day ya were born and the day you died. Your life enters the history books and is either remembered for what you did and what you left behind, or is forgotten for all time.

Accepting all of the above is part of maturity, growing older and knowing what is coming next. We all have to do so sooner or later don’t we folks?

I know as I sit here today, my last hope to accomplish anything is my writing of books, poems and taking care of my wife and our home. The simple things are now more vital to me than any money, any competition, any material belongings. What counts is I did all I could to make the world better, I gave a part of myself in all ways I can, I really believe I don’t have anything more to give, if I do it would be in minor ways.

I said it once and I will say it again here for all to read: There has been a constant battle between Mother Nature and Father Time for all eternity and it will be here long after I am gone. In the end my time is limited by both mother nature, human nature and time, and Father Time will win if your human or animal. Our time comes and we all know it when things begin to show it in our bodies and minds. I know I am facing it daily as I am sure many others are too. Acceptance is all we can do and prepare for what comes, by setting up for our own burials, cremations, Wills and Trusts and more before we go. Mine is all prepared with an approved request for Military Burial, and A Trust to take care of all once my wife and I are gone.

We are not rich, and there is never and will never be enough of us to be left behind to commemorate us or honor us, but, for our children and grandchildren we have tried to create memories and good times. I am not perfect, I am far from it, and I know when I die, more than likely no one will cry over me or miss me. Yet, I did all I could while here and that is all one man can do!

I know I am getting old these days, and I have lived a full life for sure. In many ways, I lived a life many would have loved to have and others would hate me for. Yet, as of now being 63 years old, I still survive, I still do my best to get by and I still take care of my wife and home the best I can.

Now I suffer from many things in my older age and I do prefer peace and quiet most of all. I have so many things wrong with me I wonder at times how long I can last, I just hope I don’t go before my beloved wife does, who has breast cancer, that has spread to her bones. I don’t want her going without me being here, she doesn’t deserve to die alone or in any pain, all she ever did was help others.

Myself, well I did what I could as a kid to help my main family. I babysat the younger three under me. I worked with my step-father rebuilding the home he and mom bought in 1970. We redid the entire house almost while I still lived there in the 1970s, we did floors, walls, electric and more. We never finished the third floor, and dad never got to it after I left, it remained unfinished when he died in 1990, I know I saw it.

We redid the basement too and added a toilet down there and a floor. At some point after i left dad had a new furnace put in too. Other than that the house remained the same.

My life after I dropped out of high school in my junior year led me, to places I never thought I would go. I did nothing but work for a year or so in factories. I was never happy in them anyway, so I joined the U,S, Army. I only stayed six months there, for I was immature and couldn’t handle it, so a Sergeant put me in for a Trainee Discharge under Honorable Conditions, I came home.

I went from home life to living in a YMCA in my hometown then, eating in diners, cleaning diners and helping them for food. I went from there to join the Connecticut Army National Guard, trying to get back on my feet as I worked odd jobs in factories more, that I hated. I refused to surrender though and survives the 1970’s till I had no jobs to find anymore and no reason to stay home.

I walked into a Navy recruiting Station and signed up. I became a U.S. Navy Sailor,a Boiler Technician, and served total service 16 years, finally being discharged medically under Honorable conditions. I fell aboard a navy ship and fought the Navy for seven years to stay in, but I lost to a Doctor in the end.

Since the Navy I fought to try to find a job and save my first family, but it fell apart when my first wife couldn’t handle her past, of being raped and abused by her own father. She turned her anger on me, and we divorced when she told me she wanted one. The divorce took two years to get done. I lost everything I owned and my two daughters in it. Yet, I survived, in pain and tears, but I did survive and overcome.

I sought help from the Veterans Administration, and got it. They sent me back to school, college me a high school drop-out right? Guess what I did it working as a Hotel Clerk, over a year period. I graduated at the top of my class, a 3.7 out of 4.0 GPA. I got my degree in Hotel Management and Restaurant Management.

I went to work as a Hotel Manager, and ultimately left the job for medical reasons and more. I couldn’t keep up with it at 41 years old and six herniated discs in my back. I stopped working and was given 100 percent unemployability under the Veterans Administration, and have not really worked a day since.

I recovered with second wife and we have been together now 26 years going on 27 next May 2020. So I live day to day and deal with pain in my body, in my neck, back, shoulders each day. I have survived Lung Cancer in 2013, I got lucky, the Veterans Administration Hospital found it in me and removed it at stage one.

Is my life the best, no not always. Am I a Hero no I am not, I am a man who served his country and is proud of it.

I live in peace and quiet with my wife and bother no one. At 63 years old i don’t need to bother anyone, I care for my wife, my home and my cats. I keep to myself and have few friends and barely see any family I have, My children live 500 miles away, I hear from them now and again on the internet. My best friend is two or three towns away and three years senior to me, and I never seem to see him. He is busy and I am too, we talk sometime son the phone.

I don’t know about anyone else, but for me peace is all I seek, so I write my lil books and stories and blogs and poems as I go sitting at my computer. I don’t make a fortune anywhere and or in any way there is no money in my accounts really. I am old, tired and we live month to month now.

But when I look back, I see a life full of helping others, watching others live and die who I knew and cared for. I see a life that makes me think maybe just maybe someone will remember me when I am gone. Who they will be and why they will remember me I am not sure, will they remember me for being a good person, for making them laugh, or for stopping their tears, will they remember me as a high school kid running the streets, or a military man doing his duty?

Will my daughters remember me as their father? Wll my sister remember me as a good brother? I know not, I only know, you reach an age, and you know, things are winding down and you hurt from many things physical and in my case mental too, like PTSD from childhood and military life. You refuse to surrender for you have that one special person you can’t leave behind and won’t unless you go suddenly. So you hang on in pain and keep going for them, not for yourself, anymore. Each day, you wake up in pain, each day you stumble from bed and each day you check that special person to see if she is breathing, is she moving is she still alive. Then, she moves, or you can see her breathing and you tiptoe away so as not to wake her up and you know a new day will start when she awakes. It’s all about that special relationship, that makes life special.

There is a song out there that says it best for me, It’s My Life!

The second song that says it for me, was written in the 1970’s by Jim Croce, he said it best about me, A Hard Time Losing Man!