Sunday has arrived once more for me and all who are alive. Some of us prepare and go to church to pray, for forgiveness and to be thankful, others love each day in thankfullness for being alive and skip the Sunday rituals of church. Each of us are different in what we believe or do not believe, that is for sure. One person is a fan of country music, one may love roock and roll, another may wnat classical or opera, yet we all dance and live to our own beat and our own inner musical notes of time.

Being a man who was born in 1956, I want to say this to all, no generation, had any better times than mine. We had Elvis, we had The Beatles, We had songs that still ring out today when played and people still sing along. We had creativity, and style from long hair to short, from cars to sports stars. Parentrs worked, provided and cared for us as kids, we didn’t have console gaming, we had board games for cold and wet days. When the weather was nice, we were outside, playing with friends, exploring nature and running and jumping and laughing with others. Now, not all of us were with others mind you, some were like me, an outcast, laughed at for being different or not fitting in. It is how my youth did begin.

Yet, I overcame by exploring nature, running the woods, climbing trees and hiding in hoods so to say. I ran alone and always did as a youth, it was what I was and who I am today in many a way.

Children, have to feel wanted and feel like they fit in, before they get accepted by society and others. It takes time for some to figure out how to do so, so they call us outcasts. The truth is we are not outcasts, we are just ourselves, and until others go well he or she is ok, and let us in, we have figured how to do it alone on on own, and make it work anyway.

Boys, run, jump, play ball, explore nature and more,

We experiement, we check out animals, the woods, mather nature and soone ror later as we grow, we begin to notice the opposite sex, don’t you know. For some of us we do so, in our teens, for other sof us, we do so in the inbetweens. For some like me, it started young and for others boys, it started a lil later than most. I never worried about who was what sex as a child, I just played with both sides. I played dolls with my neighbors who were girls. I ran with the boys in the woods too. I learned that it doesn’t matter what sex you are, male or female, it is how you treat others that counts in life. We all tend to be different as we grow, some are angry, some are joyful, some cry, some laugh, some argue and some agree is all. But, if you stick with who you are inside, in the end it works out, overtime, you wil find your way, fate and destiny happens to us all is what I say.

Now I know, this growing and maturing is not easy for all of us, but it happens for a reason. It is called the cycle of life folks. Born, raised, taught and guided is what most get, some are not lucky enough to get all of that, they do so on their own mostly like i did. Again, I was aloner, a lone wolf type,, scrap and fight for what I wanted and avoid if i could as i went. We all do it different some physically, some mentally, I avoided the physical mostly except at home. There I had no choice an dthe beating would come and i would survive them too, parents, sometimes are not meat to be parents. So I did what I could until I found a way out by becoming a kid who was away from home more than home at anytime. I had surrogate parents and families who helped me through. I wa slucky to have found them.

We grow and age slowly, and we begin to realize, at one point of another, we do not live forever, We want to leave something behind so we are remembered and so we can help those we love. Some of us do it with money, some with advice, and guidance, and other through what we say and do. Yet in the end when we are long gone and our cycle oflife ends, we want to leave some kind of imprint or mark on the world for our families or survivors to see. It’s just a part of our human nature is it not folks/

So, for me, it is my writings, poems, stories and letters to others. It is my thoughts on politics, the gae and times I live in and through. The thoughts on my reasons for all I do. The decisions we make in life, is what makes us decent human being or makes us good or bad, aren’t they. I made decisions, and i kept my word is what I want to be remembered for. Some will say, I am full of shit, others will call me a liar and a bad person. In fact, I am not. Yet some will think so.

Look, life throws curve balls at you as you age and it is whether you hit them or let them pass that makes you. We can’t control how we are raised, we don’t always control our own hormones, but, we can control what we know to be right or wrong and how we handle those situations. I make judgements and decisions not base don what is best for me, I make those decisions on what is best for all involved icluding me. I live with loses i should never have had, I accept what I have to and can not change, and I move on. Don’t we all do that in life?

I made promises to myself an dothers growing up and i kept them. I promised to serve my country honorably and i did. I did 16 years of sevice to Uncle Sam and i am a Proud, Disabled Veteran daily in my life. I made promises to old frineds to tell truths and I did so helping others in their lives an dletting them understand it all. I kept promises to myself and my first wife too. Ipromised her the day we got married, if you ever look at me and say you wnat a divorce, I wil not fight you. When it happened i didn’t fight, but the collateral damage was my lose of my two daughters. They stayed with her. I had no place to raise two girls on my own and no way of doing so so I did what I thought was right. Did it work, well, to a point like most things, but I missed their lives, they missed mine an din the end many years later we said hello again. It isn’t perfect and will never be, and yes it hurts me. But at least I know I tried to keep them safe.

I made many decisions, I wish I could change over the years, haven’t you. I suffer from not being able to speak my mind or heart when it come sto emotions, and love. I married twic ein my life and neither wife, heard me say I love you much, but knew I did love them. There are women I loved I never told i loved them so what did I do, Iwrote it out and sent it to her so she would know. She knows now, but timehas marched on and we have both been married twice had our children and our lives. She knows, I know and that is all a man can do, be honest, I was scared, I was young, I was lost and i moved out of the way so others could be there instead. But, life goes on, doesn’t it.

We all make decisions folks, we live with those decisions once we make them and we carryon. As I always have said in my life, I am me, for who else can I be? I also say, there is no fighting Mother Nature unless you are Father Time! Menaing they constantly struggle neithe rwinning, nor losing, but, in tandem forever more. It is just a fact of life, we can’t change fates, destinies, we can’t control living or dying either. I have seen too many die before I thought their time was up. We don’t control how long we are here on this planet. I have a way of thinking of life, and it goes like this: We are born to a plan beyond our control. We are set upon this planet and born to complete missions, we have no control over. Thos emissions are preset by the creator, and we are here to complete them, When wedo complete them, we get recalled to from whence we came. Otherwise folks, once we reach and achieve our destiny, our purpos eor mission, we get recalled. That is how I prefer to look at life, and death, whether you agree or not, is not my problem it is only what I believe.

Each day we live, each person we meet, each thing we accomplish, leads us to our destiny and fate. So, here is to fate, here is to destiny, here is to a good life and one i hope is not filled with strife. Enjoy life each day, talk, laugh, cry, sigh,rethink and get by. Live and enjoy each day, for that is the real way to be. Take it from me!

Many a day I write blogs on politics the status or the world and post them. I rant and rave over different things and sometime speople may think I am senseless in what I write here. Yet, it is an outlet for what I see and feel about America and all the is going on in it.

Every now and then I may start a story to write or write a poem for all to read or in this case one of my own feelings in this time and age and all I am livingh through. So, on that basis, I give you today my original poem I write this am,

Loneliness 11-04.2022

Waht is loneliness is what some ask,

It is waking up and knowing it is just you,

Walking alone down a highway or road you woul dnever do,

Being alone as the Holidays go by,

Thinking of the one you miss,

Whose life went by.

Lonelinessw is an isolation no one likes,

Yet we all know it at one time or another, and it is not nice.

Loneliness is a feeling of no one to talk to,

A quiet time, when you live in your own mind.

Loneliness is a feeling inside and it is something few can hide,

Some of us live it daily for we know,

There are only a few we can love so.

So when I feel lonly and alone,

I sit back and close my eyes and think of when she was here.

The lauigther, the joys, the times we did share,

The moments of tenderness and carinhg you see,

They carry me through to the next day for me.

So as time goes on, and I struggle through,

Just remember like I do,

YOur not alone in being lonely you see,

Not as long as there are many like me.

So, put on a brave face, dress up and smile,

Cry Laugh and even style.

Be yourself and hope will shine through,

For someone will see you,

Who may be lonely too!.

It seems to me, common Americans are going to end up paying for everything that goes wrong in America in one way or another. We struggle to support ourselves and our families and to pay our bills on amonthly basis, and in the end bills just keep growing and others get richer. Companies like utilities, gas, oil, electric and more raise prices for the same services we get every month and need to survive. They claim it is more expensive to produce them, but in fact they are only increasing their prices, to gouge and get richer.

American companies havea greed problem, now the average citizen has no way to fight back eitther in rerality. We can’t refuse to pay, or the services that keep us warm and light our homes and more will be tirned off on us. So we try to budget everything we have and our health gets affected because we can’t pay medical costs, and food costs rise too now. Someone tell me what are senior citizens like myself supposed to do to survive in America?

I live on Social Security and Veteran’s Disability payments. It isa forced budget for me, so I do very little, eat as necessary and dress the best I can to survive after paying all my monthly bills. So, who hasa solution for this problem out there, anyone?

The rich get richer, the bigger companies keep charging more and they feed off the poorest peoplein the country. How about, giving the common American Citizen a break, you already have billions if your a huge company or corporation! It is sad to see in America what is happening!

At some point, all Americans are going to realize the finacial mess we are in in America. Our Federal Deficiet climbs each year by trullions, and no one is cutting anything back, except, what is affecting the poorest Americans, our services and needs. How about leaving our Social Security alone we paid into, leaving our disability payments alone. our medicaid and medicare alone, and charging the rich more. They have excess we don’t, we are the poorest in America! You make a 300 grand a year salary or paycheck, you can afford to pay your fair share in taxes and help out.

The rich get richer and the poor pay the price for it all. Why?

Also, let me say this, The biggest criminals in America are the rich ones! Elon Musk buys Twitter, and now wants to charge users, why? Trump runs his life and businesses, sits home eating steaks and champagne, and draws a pension, medical and dental and more from Uncle Sam and he is the biggest criminal around. Why do we let him do so?

The other thing that bugs me more than anything today, is how legal cases are being postponed and made to go on longer than necessary in our Justice System. Trump should have been charged long ago now in the January 6th attack on our capital, yet because he has money and political followers, the Justice System is delayed! If you don’t think that Trump is delaying the process, stretching it out, then you are blind! He postpones, he files brief after breif and appeals from one court to the next and gets away with it. Why is it being allowed?

If you think I am lying or being foolish in saying so, consider this: As Trump postpones and delays everything he can in the courts, his followers who stormed the capital, are now in prison, many of them for the crimes Trump instigated and asked them to do. Why, because Trump has money an dthey don’t, period!. Ask the Qanon, Proud Boys and Oath Keepers members how they feel now, sitting behind bars, paying huge fines and serving time for what Trump asked them to do, as Trump sits in Mar a Lago, eats steaks, plays golf and throws lavish parties on Uncle Sams dime and theirs too. Trump isn’t the one witha felony onhis record being banned from voting is he? Nope.

If i were an Oath Keeper, Qanon Member or Proud Boy member, I wouldn’t be made at the legal system, or the laws, I woul dbe pissed at the fact Trump asked us to attack the capital, we did it, and pay the price, and Trump is walking free! I know Qanon, The Proud Boys and Oathkeepers have many followers out there, but, they need to stop and think before they attack any american official or organization or governement facility, who is telling them to and who is paying the price when they do? Themselves, or Trump? Even the Followers of dictators, and kings come to reralize in this world, that when their leader starts to harm them, his followers, the leader rmust go! Ask Mussonlini, as Hitler, ask Jerry Jones, as Charles Manson and others. IT was their own followers that finally brought them down, why, because theybegan to reralize and finally did realize, it wa stheir leader screwing them over and eating cake so to say.

Qanon, The Oath Keepers and The Proud Boys should realize by now, that doing Trump’s bidding, following his MAGA Rheotoric, is only killing their organizations and members. While Qanon Members, Proud Boys and Oath Keepers pay millions in legal fees, lose the right to vote now and get convicted and have to serve time in prison or jail, and get felonies tacked onto their lives and records. the man who called them, the man who told them what to do and directed it all, is still rich, still eating steaks, still free and still doing as he pleases. You woul dthink they would stop and think of that by now, and stop following the MAGA and trump shit, and either walk away or turn on Trump himself. But like i say, blind followers are not new in America or the world, ask Hitlers followers, ask Mussonlini’s followers, ask the cult leaders and their followers, they know it now. Yet, they follow blindly for no ryhme or reason, or without thought. why? America doesn’t need to be made Great Again, or to be made Great it is Great and has been for 265 years now. Wake up!

I have my own dream folks, that one day all men and women in America, dispite color, race, creed or anything else will wake up and realize, the greatness of the republic and democracy they live under, and appreciate it better. My dream is for the free America we live in to stay free, for oportinities to abound for all, and for equal justice to rain down on all. Equal Justice should be, Banning Trump from Public Office, His Arrest for inciting a riot and insurrection against his own country. Equal Justice would be Donald J. Trump in handcuffs and in a public courtroom facing charges for all he has done, on public television for all the world to see. If Justice spreads enough light on all Donald Trump has done that is criminal, then all may learn the truth an dthe truth is what we need all to see to stop this MAGA nonsense and anger in America.

Welcome to November 2022 folks. The year has flown by so far that we have reached the 11th month again. Personally, I am not sure if it is a good thing or a bad one, but here we are. The Midterm Elections are in a few days, and if the Republicans win, well the American People will lose. They are targetting Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid for destruction, which means people like me retired and disabled won’;t have shit to live on. Please don’t vote Republican, Vote Democrat, the onlt thing Republicans care about is themselves and their wallets.

That being said, the weather is beggining to get cooler outside and the leaves are all coming down. In the end we in New England go through the four seasons every year and i think it is the biggest reason why many of us stay in NMew England. We get all the weather treatments of the four seasons and some of us look forward to it all.

As I sit here this November 1st, 2022 I wonder, what the future has in store for the world as a whole. Metors fly through space with no given direction they we can fanthom, and like the dinosaurs before us, we are always in jepardy of ultimate destruction by one hittiong the planet. As it is we as humans have limited life spans, so we don’t stop to think of what mother nature or father time will bring at us as a planet, we don’t control that side of the future.

Anyway, life goes on and for me it shall keep going at least today.I go day to day as i always say, I try to laugh, I try to talk, I try to get along with all I meet, and yet I am still alone. I know I have been told, stop thinking and talking about the past and my wife who passed. I know i have been told move on, yet, I hesitate to enter any relationship with any woman so far and it is now going on 15 months, I have been alone. I am a realist folks, I know I am 66 years old and that finding another women to spend time with in my life will not be easy. One thing about me, I face the facts always and stay real.

What woman wants a man 66 years old, set in his ways, not many. They want young, they want healthy, viral and strong, even if they are not themselves in great shape, They want men who will care for them, protect them, open doors for them and provide for them. They don’t look for men like me, who are self-sufficient and who don’t chase them.

I wish, I was more like othe rmen who know how to flirt with women of all ages. I am not, I never learned to flirt in my life, I guess I never needed to. My relationship, at least real ones, I have had can be counted on one hand really. Anytime i made amove toward a female I failed, but, if I mind my own and do my thing, they seem to find me. How I do not know they just do. I will never understand, how I was married twice in my life and never really flirted with anyone, but it’s a fact,

I chat in person with people daily, men, women and stay alone. Politics is a subject I try tp avoid daily, and religion too, for they divide and make people angry. So, what do I do in my life, well, I do my daily bot, of cleaning, doing my primary things like mail, showers, dishes and home cleaning. Laundry days of course. Then I may walk for a hour or two is the weathe ris noce. If not I build puzzles, read books, write blogs and sometimes i write poetry and short stories if i get an idea on one or the other.

I have tried walking the mall near me, havent seen a movie in a while now, and go looking in stores. Am I involved in volunteer activitie sno not yet, I don’t know my town or area good enough. I thought of getting a pet, but then, I don’t want to have to be responisable for an animal on a daily basis or have the bill of feeding one either. My wife and had had two cats, I had to give away when she passed.

Before my wife i used to go to SIngles Dances which is where i met her one night. None exist near me here in my age range these days. So, I play pool with the boys who live in the condos I am in on mondays, then on Thursday I go bowling with other condo owners on a league team basis. It’s all for something to do. Life has slowed down for me, in my 60’s to a point of a walking pace, day by day, sadly.

I have no weekend plans really, so I play X-Box, and then I wander and walk if i can. I am bored and know that sooner or later, it wil end for me, but when I do not know. I have a belief instilled in me and always have since I was a boy, we are all born an dplaced on this planet for a purpose, each and everyone of us. What that purpose is, is not for us to know. But we go through life daily doing what we can and surviving, and we shall until we complete whatever our purpose really is. When we do complete that purpose we go thru a cooling down period, that slows our existance down and we finally get recalled to from whence we came. The old ashes to ashes, dust to dust is a real fact you see, so for all humanity we must deal with the fact we are mortal, and our time is limited on this planet.

Sounds a little morbid doesn’t it, but, one thing I have learned in my life so far is, there is no escaping the fate and destiny we ultimately have in store for us, we just go on, until we can’t anymore and we get recalled. I know not many read my blogs or my stories or my poems, yet, I still write them and put them online when I can, why, because it isa part of my destiny and fate to do so, and i am drawn to do it.

Life is and will always be a bit of a mystery for all of us on this planet who are human. We have absolutely no real idea why we are here, yet we are and we go through daily routines of our lives without stopping once to think of why that is so. It is like someone installed an auto-pilot in us, and we stay the course we are on, for what purpose, only the creators know.

I have never claimed to be perfect and anyone who does isa fool. We all make mistakes, we all fall and tumble, we all pick ourselves up and start over as needed. We reach out when we need help and we give and take with the ones we love and who love us. It is how we survive is it not? I believe it is anyway.

I reflect many times on life and it’s mysteries, it’s faults, it’s surprises and it’s blessings, One of the things that is so nice is when one can just walk on a brisk morning in the fresh air, and marvel at mother nature, the blue skies, the trees, the leaves, the waters, and mothe rnature at it’s best. A breathe of fresh air in our lungs is vital and we enjoy it as we live day by day and in the end we take it for granted. We shouldn’t for, it may not be that way for others in the future some day. It is the little things in life that make life worth while, the smiles, the laughter, the fun times, the converstaions when you hit it off with someone you met. The small things count folks, a pat on the back, a hug, a romantic kiss, all the small thing we take for granted, for once they disappear, life becomes common and everyday and boring, does it not? Sure it does, for himan kind is not made to be lonely, lost, or without each other, we are like all other creatures, we run in packs. Life is the interaction we live through, nothing more or less.

Anyway, I reflect and go on too much here and i know it. I just hope, mankind realizes as I do, that we are not here for enteriny, we are limite din our timeon this planet. We must face the fact and do what we can is all. I pray, for mankind, for sometimes, mankind is in such a hurry, it blinds itself to the reality and that my friends is dangerous.

Welcome to Halloween, 2022 folks! October is now coming to an ending today, and the year is flying by. Each day seems to pass more quickly then the one before it for me. Being a single man again, after my wife’s passing in 2021, is like trying to hunt and peck my way through a story and world I never knew before. It is filled with things I never had to deal with before, because i had a wife. Cleaning, Laundry, Housework, then of course finding ways to entertain myself. Life is way to short and we live it only once, my guess is we are here to live it fully, and just not harm anyone else ever. At least from my point of view it is.

Being single again, is like learning to walk and chew gum on my own all over again. I admire the ladies, always have from a distance and I talk to everyone i can when I see them. I guess, I am set in my ways and I do not rush into any relationships. One friend, looked at me and said there are a lot of single women right over there, and pointed them out tp me on bowling nite. Asked me what is taking me so long? LOL! My response if she ever heard it would probally make her laugh, because I wouldn’t know how to approach a woman these days, I never did learn to flirt. I basically keep to myself and always have, how did i get married twice some would ask, I really can’t tell you.

My first wife I met in The Navy and it was through playing pool and through music. I was single and 24, carried a cassette deck with me and my music where ever I went in those days. The Music attracted my first wife and so did my teaching her pool and w ehad the same job in the Navy.

My Second wife well, I was recently divorced, and alone again and music played a part there too. I got lonely and wnet to a Singles Dance, sa wher one night and just asked her to dance. It led me to 28 years with her, and a second marriage that I still miss today. But, I could only sit by, as she suffered from cancer and take care of her for 16 years, until she passed. I wish I could have saved her, but cancer is a killer and sadly we lost her battle with it. In the meantime I had cancer in the middle myself and survived also.

So today I live a state away from where i did with her, I sold the home we shared, and all in it and started in a brand new condo. I try to wake up each morning and look for things to do, for I am a disabled veteran, and retired. I walk alot whenI can for exercise, I read alot, I build puzzles, watch television, and these days I have found playing pool fun on monday nites and on Thursdays it is bowling time for now. I try to attend some functions at the Clubhouse here in my Condo neighborhood and interact the best I can with others.

Medically I am a walking miracle and know it. I survived cancer, I have six herniated discs, and I continue on trying to stay as healthy as i can under my circumstances. I sometimes play X-Box games, and of course chat online. Life is a slow lackadaisal pace right now, and winter is coming again and it wil be my first one alone.

I have tried to get back out there socially the best I can, but I feel lonely and out of place now a days. I even tried a few bars and walking the mall some too. I keep looking to meet new people and trying to hope to find a purpose for myself these days. It a floundering feeling of what is next and how do I keep going. I am not sure if that makes sense, but to me that is how I feel these days.

I write blogs like this one and on politics and watrch the news. I can not fanthom the Woke Crowd thing that exists today, never will understand it. The hate atmosphere in America now is sad to see. People angry all the time, shootings, attacks on schools and politicains and their families. The Trump Maga Crowd is a sad sight to see, and I can not understand, why people follow Donald J. Trump so blindly. I have seen many Presidents now in my lifetime, and never have I seen one as bad as Trump was and is as a person. And yes it is my opinion and yes do not like the MAGA Movement, the Woke Movement, or Trumpism. It’s a sad reflection on the mentality and social structure of America, and should make all ashamed of what Trump has done an dhis movement too. The hate, violence, and attacks on American Democracy, our Republic and society is a shame. yet all who follow Trump, like The OathKeepers, Qanon, Proud Boys and Maga’s don’t stop to realize they are killing our country and all it stands for. In the meantime now, since the January 6th attack on our Capital at Trump’s direction the OathKeepers, Qanon, and Proud Boys are all going to peison becoming felons as Trump keeps directing them, and sits in his Mar A Lago compund happy eating steaks and drinking wine and playing golf and having parties. DO these Maga followers, OathKeepers, Qanon and Proud Boys know, they are now felons, they lose the right to vote, have recors and will have to live with the convictions they are recieving and struggle to get by? Nope seems like they don’t for they just keeping doing as Trump tells them, like blind mice running into a maze with a saw at it’s end that cuts them up. It’s a sad site to see.

As a Veteran who is disabled and who served 16 years in the military, protectiong and defending this country, I am sad to see, this violence, this MAGA bullshit and Woke Crowd crap. Listen, America is great, it’s always been great, if it wasn’t all of the MAGA, Woke Crown and these organizations would not be allowed to exist. If this were Russia or China, or North Korea or Iran, they would be all killed off and gone by now. Those governements would wipe them out in nayway they can, yet, since we area republic and a democracy we let them keep existing. We shouldn’t, yet we do, because we believein feedoms no one else has in the world except America. I fought for the right to vote, for a right to my own religion, for freedom of speech, and to keep those i love alive and happy. Many of us Veterans think and thought the same way, we didn’t serve for ourselves, we served for those we love to be safe and free and this country too. Now a days, there are few of us still left who have the common sense, knowledge and morals and values, in that way. We are a dying breed, born, and raised in the 50’s, 60′ and 70’s. We had the best of all times, economic, musically, we had the best. Why, can’t people understand, that between the Woke Movement, the stripping of women’s rights, the MAGA and supporters of TRump and these Organizations they are destroying outr country? Are Americans that blinded by anger and foolishness that they will continue down the road they are on and watch as America changes for the worse? Is that what we want folks, to go backwards, to be controlled by Dictators and people who believe they can be kings? Didn’t America and our forefathers fight for freedom, to get out from under King’s and Dictators? They created what we have, and as Ben Franklin Said ” We have created a Republic, how long we keep it so, is up to the people. For it will only last as long as we work to keep it so”. I am hoping and praying for America and it’s future, for we are the last Shinning Star of Freedom on this planet, and once we are gone or our Republic dies, another shall never rise.

Sunday is upon us, as October rolls to it’s end tomorrow. Halloween is tomorrow so I stay home na dhide in my condo, whats nice is no one will be lookingf or candy from me.

October is tolling to it’s end and winter is coming in soon enough. I am now 14 going on 15 months without my wife who passed in August of 2021. I am trying to adjust my life without her with me, it has not been easy. I sold the home we had and all that went with it, and moved away from where she passed. I bought a new condo and new furniture and more. Changing my life from a married man to a widower who is now a bachelor again has not been easy. I am not a very outgoing individual so, I basically stay to myself. I do play pool on mOnday evenings, then Bowl now on Thursday Evenings. I get some people who are married trying to point out which ladies are single around me and trying to play matchmaker lol. I just go slow, be me and se what happens i am not jumping into anything, no hurry.

I watch my football and basketball when i can on television and walk alot these days when I feel good. I read and build puzzles and basically stay steady. As to wheither i will date anyone of not, well I don’t know right now. I saw one woman twice, but, it wasn’t a good match in my mind, so I ended that quickly. I met a second, but, again, she is a nice person just not my type, nor was I hers. I do understand it will more than likely be a long time for me and I will be lonely, but, I refuse to rush into anything. I guess you can say, I believe in the song Elvis sang, Only Fools Rush In!

As to the news it is sad to see people so violent in America;s society. Mr. Pelosi being attacked is an atrocity and a shame on the American culture and asa nation period. The MAGA Movement, and DOnald trump inciting this kind of violence is a shame on the American public and the Republican party. The Republicans are still backing Trump’s bullshit lies and that in and of itself is sad. Trump lost get over it, take your anger and shove it, Trump is not your savior Republicans! Look he failed at selling water, steaks, education and more before he was President, He failed as a President in all ways, he never built his wall. He passed a tax bill to benefit himself and his rich cohorts, but nothing more. Then he refused to concede the Election loss, tried to block it’s certification, incited a riot an dinsurrection, and then stle secret and top secret documents, and this is the Republicans Leader rnow?

Trump needs arrested, for his crimes, the documents need retrived and the nation of his Maga people need to calm down and realize, they are following a criminal. The Proud Boys, OathKeepers and more need to come to realize, they are going to prison for what Trump told them to do, while Trump is sitting in Mar A Lago, living the high life, with secret service protection, and a pension and full medical coverage. He eats steaks, while the followers he incited and told what to do sit in jail cells and eat oatmeal and mush. Sad. Yet the OathKeepers and Proud Boys and more all still blindly follow this man, why? Are you so blind, or just totally stupid that you can’t see he is using all of you to get his way and keep pressure on all. What Trump wants is to be able to run again, and he thinks if he does they can’t come after him, so Congress needs to blaock him from running period they can do that under laws. Block Trump from ever holding a public office, on the vasis of insureection, inciting a riot and tratorist actions. If Congress doesn’t like Mr. Pelosi being attacked and beaten with a hammer then, they need to cut the cause off at the knees, stop and block Trump from holding any Pub;lic Office in America, and remove him from the ballots.

Before I end this today, I want to stress to all, Mr. Paul Pelosi is a private citizen and the husband of Nancy Pelosi yes, but he has nothing to do with any action in Washington or Politics. He has nothing to do with Qanon, Proud Boys, Oathkeepers, or The January 6th, In the end let me say this,. He has nothing to do with Trump, either. He was minding his own business and came under attack, that folks can now happen to anyone, as long as these people belive Trump’s lies. he needs blocked from ever running again and the FBI must go after these Maga based and backed Trump protectors and believers. I understand political differences, I understand disagreements, I do not condone or think anyone else should condone or allow this violence to continue. Congress must act, and that mean both sides of the political spectrum and block him now. Block Trump from holding any public office now!

Wendsday is slowly ticking by. Time slides by so quickly as we age, you somethimes do not realize how fast it does go. Seems to me, that life is far too short for each of us. We keep putting aside things we want to do or places we want to go or see, why, because we just do. As we age, we get slower and more careful, and we always seem to double check things.

We are all human and we all have some aliments as we age, some not as bad as others of course. So, we carryon in life the best we can, and end up where we want to be most of the time. There will always be times, we don’t get what you want and, we learn to live with it all.

My health goes up and down, or painful, so each day I wake up I wonder how long I have left on this plane of existence. I try, to stay stable mentally, emotionslly and physically. I work overtime trying to find things to keep my mind busy and alert. Physically, it is harder when you are like me, running around with injuries. Back injuries and PTSD, add in other factors and i am still kicking, but how long can one beat the odds, before they catch up to me. I find each day, a maze to go through, without a co-pilot to help me any more.

I do have memories of my wife that make me smile, and sometimes i cry over her death. It’s like a roller coaster on the emotional stream. One day on a level I can handle and the next it puts me through loops. Yet, I am srill alive and I wonder why?

Now, as life goes forward my back aches and tightens up and then it snaps, cracks and causes me severe pain I live with.

So, I know I am not alone as far as pain, both physical and mental do exist. It is a common problem for many of us, in this world we live on. I tend to work overtime to avoid whatever may be there. The only way I see with dealing with these pains and injuries, is to press on, and live with it all. I have Doctors yes and they do a good job of trying to keep me going, and I appreciate all of them.

I use television and the news to distract me from the pains I have. I honestly believe one must have a sense of humor and laughter goes a long way. As I told many today, if you don’t laugh or can’t for some reason, it will ultimately lead to depression and tears. And that becomes a circle of pain that will not quit on it’s own. The person in such shape must find their own way out of it. So I struggle thru and do the best I can each day, I live.

Some days I am happy to be alive yet they are few and fae between to bew honest. Other days I am depressed and in a crying mode, hurt by the loss of my wife and the crazy shit that happens in daily life. I am learning slowly, I must press on and keep apositive attitude, for if I don’t I may end all for me. Am I ready to die and enter the next plane of exsitence, no! I am lonely, I do get depressed and somedays I do tell myself I should have died with my wife. It’s hard to stay alive, when you have lost your partner of so many years. Yet, here I am.

Life, it seems is not all candy and cream sauce or sweets. There are many times it is bitter, nasty and it makes one think, and run away. Running from something or somebody will not help in anyway. Yes you avoid a confrontation, but the problem persists and festers inside you, as an invidual. Many people go through angry all the time and hide it, if you hide it or avoid it, it does fester, it does knaw on you and make your life miserable. Don’t let that happen to you is what I say.

Don’t waste your energy or time and effort on stupid fights or arguements. Don’t take advantage of others, earn your own way. Be a person who can stand alone, one who relies on themself no one else. And Remember: You can’t like anyone or anything else, until you like yourself first! It all begins to go right if your smart enough to like who you are, it makes it possible to accept others as they are. I hope that makes sense to all out there.

Some things in the world are worth the time to discuss and some are better left not being talked about. Yet in America, we are basing our lives on things like murders, political pundits and politicians who go bad, or were always bad and no one noticed. Now, that being said I have a few things I basically wonder to myself, why the hello are they possible and why doesn’t someone change them.

We can fight covid, and diseases, we fight cancer and illnesses daily in the world. Then we run dead into politics and everything goes haywire and wrong. We don’t need politicians who are corrupt or ultra conservative, or ultra liberal either. What America needs, are politicians who can cross the lines and get along period. We have too much at stake as a Country for them to be holding useless, senseless fights and stopping any help coming from Congress that is needed. Sadly, the political lines are drawn and we end up fighting one another, instead of facing the real issues and solving them. We need our Senators and Representatives working on the issues needing to be solved in a better way then they are now.

I have watched the news, I see the diseases we are fighting, I see the political turmoil in Washington and the economic mess of recession coming at us daily. I see the world still turning, but nature is what runs it. We can’t continue to fight each other politically, and still survive, for if the politicians of Amerca continue on this divide they are on a destructive course. Sadly, no one wants to understand what I am saying here. It is one thing to be divided politically, but to get things done someone, one party or the other must compromise for the good of the people.

The Supreme Court, has no business in the Investigation of The January 6th, Attack on our capital. To block and stop Graham from testifyinhg, in Georga is wrong. You are preventing Justice from going forward, Judge Thomas and you should recuse yourself period. Your wife is involved in this Insurrection against our governement, recuse yourself and get out of the way. Let the process happen and lets get the truth, by allowing the Testimony of Graham to happen. The Justices of The Supreme Court have no business in the State of Georgia’s busines and this case in particular and you know it Thomas, yet you have interfered in it all now.

That being said, next issue on my mind. The Investigations surrounding Donald Trump should disqualify him from running for any public office, period. I have now lost count of how many cases there are now being investigated surrounding Trump. Lets finish them all, by completing them fully and properly please. Congress has the power to disqualify Donald Trump from being on any ballot for public office and that should be done now. At the least, Congress, should not allow Trump to run, no one else has this many current investigations involving them going on, it’s just morally, ethically wrong, for him to be able to rerun for the presidency. Congress must stop him. Why are they not doing so, you tell me ! If the Republicans can not get a better candidate for President other than Donald Trump, then it is a sorry statement on the status of their party and it’s leadership. Are they really going to sit there and let Trump divide and destroy their own party and the nation? Wake up now!

The world has economic problems, wars happening, and political turmoil everywhere. Isn’t it time for Americans to take control again and solve our own problems first. We are not the whole world’s police force, nor are we the ones who should be telling everyone what to do. We have to start first here at home, not overseas somewhere. As one man said, before you stick your nose in someone else’s business, get your own under control first. We do not want to be a Dictator led Nation, we do not need Nazi bullshit, we do not need Authorism either. We are a Democratic, republic folks, we vote to choose leaders. Choice is always the basis we go on and need to keep it that way. Majority will rule at the Voting Polls to, yes I know. Listen, before you go to the Voting Booths stop and think, which way the winds are blowing, what issues are at stake and what will happen if you vote one party control of the Senate and another the House or Representatives, or divide the country worse than it is currently. The more you divide the worse the results for all of us in America. Or in the end because we the voters have divided all of it, nothing gets done, and the nation freezes in one place and position nothing advances or improves. So we end up going no where, and improving nothing. It’s sad to see. Can we just get together, and do things that will improve our economy, and basic principals for all Americans. Leave Social Security alone, leave Medicare alone and Medicaid too. Don’t kill things that help people, cut wasteful spending yes, but not things so vital here. We need healthcare for all, including dental and prescriptions. We need to come together to help each other, not sit here and divide and fight.

Well I have ranted some here and I have tried to just let some of it off my chest. We need gun control laws. we need to prove that Justice For All is not just a slogan, and we need to treat all equal under Justice and our laws too. Trump is an ex-president now, and he should never be allowed near a public office again.

So do me a favor America, before you run to the polls, stop and think about what your voting on, each issue and each candidate too. Please remember, the more you divide, the worse it will get for all of us. Deadlocks stop any advances or help for the common citizens, like you or me. Don’t deadlock the Government please!

Monday has arrived folks. October 24th, 2022, is rainy here and overcast. The news talks of Trump, RSV cases in children and politics world wide and here in the US. The talk and news at times is depressing, bad, angry and of wars and deaths. What I wonder is when will there be good news ever again. The Economic news sucks world wide and here at home too. I know it is depressing in the world and i wish I could change it all, but one man or woman does not have such power to do so.

Headlines revolve around The January 6th, Committee, The MId-term elections, Trump cases, economic problems and people dying in wars across the globe. I wonde rmany times a day, when the hell will anything good be reported. I hope for it all, but it does not come.

As time ticks on, and it does steady, I wonde rhow long I have left in my life. At 66, I just look forward to getting thru each day and keep a roof over my head. Pay my bills do what I can here and there, find things to do like puzzles, books to read, walking, pool playing and bowling so far. I try to think of things to keep my mind active and my body moving as much as i can, rainy days screw me up though. Fall is rolling along and winte ris coming soon it seems, we will have snow.

I keep looking for places to go and things to do in my area of Westborough, Ma. here. I am not a bar person, so every once in a while i may stop in one for a beer or drink and to see who is around. Being new to the area and state, I am trying to ease into the lifestyle here if i can. Hard though to find people in my age range who are single, I am a widower so, I am alone in life these days.

So, between the world news of wars, politics and economic bad news, it gets depressing for me. It doesn’t help when your in a new area and it takes time to meet people, but for me, I am not a drinker, so I try bowling, and pool playing and walking malls and where I live.

Do I want things to happen yes i do. I would love the economy to turn around, I would love to see Trump get arrested and jailed. I would love to see and meet a woman I can enjoy life with so I am not alone anymore, but, I can’t force anything at all. So, I walk around CHauncy Lake area, watch people play pickleball,, I play pool, I bowl, and read al ot too. Life seems to be a steady pace each day of the same things happening for me. Nothing new do I find. I am learning as I age, you can want many things and you can get what money can buy, but it is the non-affordable items or intangables that count most. Having someone to share experiences, talk to, communicate to and live with is not easy to find at 66 years old for me. I don’t rush into anythoing really,a nd i never did learn to flirt. Ah well life shall go on.

I write blogs like these and sometimes poetry when in the mood. Stories I basically can’t keep on subject long enough to write a book, so I basically these days, try to avoid trying it. Walking the Mall is ok when I feel good or my back is not acting up. Do I need much, naw I think I have all I need including anew home, furniture and car and electronic devices abound around me. I even have the newest XBox for gaming purposes, to take up time for me.

I have found it takes time to make friends, and I have had many in my life, but when my wife passed, I decided I had to get away from where she died and sold the house and moved to a new state and area. I left behind a lot of friends, but I couldn’t take being reminded of her and where she died and how. I break down when I go thru it in my mind. So, I try to move on and hold onto the good memories and forget anything that wasn’t good for us both. I shall always love her, even tho she is gone from this plane of existence, but, as she told me before she died, she wanted me to live again before I join her. She told me to try to move on and I am doing what I can in my own heart and mind at this point.

Whats next for me, I do not know, I get lonely, I get depressed at times, I ache daily from injuries from my naval service, neck and back. I suffer from PTSD and more, but I refuse to lay down and die. I wil press forward for as long as I can, surrender is not a word I really understand. I have seen people committ suicide and take their own lives, it is sad and leaves holes in people’s lives who loved them, they have no time to prepare for it, and it hurts deeply, those around it.

So, I walk, and do the best I can to keep going and stay alive. I do not accept those who just want things from me like my money. I se ethem coming from far away when it happens and I leave fast. DOn’t tryto use me, steal from me, because I see you coming when you do.

As time goes on I tend to get a lil more paranoid and carefull, but most who age do too. We do so to preserve what we worked so hard to accomplish in our lives. I recommend for the younger generations, do what you love most, enjoy the time you have when healthy, love, care, share, and in the end live your life to the best you know how. Life is not all roses and cream folks, but, as long as you are here, carry on the best you can and enjoy, for life is too short for anything else.

Sunday has arrived folks, October is rolling on by, we are now on the 23rd, already. Seems to me the older I get the faster time slips by me. No one can control Father Time folks, not even Mother Nature even with their forever relationship they have. It ticks on and on no matter how much we may want it to stop or slow down. We age and the planet does too, it’s an interconnection between mankind and the planet we live on, our internal clocks keep ticking till, it is our time.

You see, we are a part of the galaxy and universe also out there and out here among the stars. Earth circles it’s sun and it’s moon follows and we are lucky to be on earth for it provides us with all we need. Yet mankind misuses and abuses the planet we live on and when it revolts or fights back by way of hurricances and tornados and storms, we moan and cry and overcome and rebuild anyway. One thing mankind is , is persistant and inventive, if anything at all. We invent items to make our way of life easier and more fun and to keep us busy too.

We did not invent the differences between the sexes, or the colors of our skins, or differences between nations and races. But we mainpilate and try to use them either for our own purposes, or for political gain and that is sad folks. I remind all, we are all humans, at least mankind wise, it does not matter what nationality you are, what color your skin is, or what race you belong to, we all laugh, we all cry, we all have joy, pain, misery. We all eat, we all drink, we all sleep and rise the same each day. We all love and we all hate, we all do the same things daily, we shower, we brush our teeth, we clean our homes and cars, we show pride in what we earn and we tend to learn and grow as people each day. I do not care what color your skin is, nor what race you are, or where you are from, what I care about and you should too, is how we treat each other as human beings. You respect me, and i will respect you, you slow down and have patienance and i will too. It is the interaction between humans that keeps us going, for no man, or nation is an island unto themselves or itself, we belong to the world and are only small parts of it. I hope that makes sense to all who read this, for if you hit us, cut us or treat us wrong we all strive to fight back and stop it from happening to us. It is human nature folks. I hope i make my point, but if I haven’t yet, perhaps one simple fact will make it plain for all, we all eat, we all urinate and we all shit, for we must, it doesn’r matter what color you are or race you are or where you are from, it’s just a fact, live with it and carry on.

Be polite, be nice, get along with all. Yes we have political differences, we have religious differences, and differences in how we view things. In the end though, we are all the same, we make our difference not the color of our skins, or races or anything else. We do it, it’s called decision making, you have to be foolish not to see that no matter who you are. See it, realize it, set it aside and accept people for who they are as people, and lets make mankind better by doing so.

Now onward, as I sit alone typing this and thinking it out early in my am here. I used to have a wife, I would bounce things off of, but I lost her to cancer after her 16 years fight with it, in 2021. I also fought cancer myself and still worry about it, in 2013, surviving lung cancer, by losing a lobe and one third of my right lung. We need to unite as mankind and fight such diseases, untill we eradicate them, all of them. Will we ever be able to, I do not know, but I have hope mankind is smart enough to see, cancer like many diseases does not care what color you are, what nationality you are or what race you are, neither do, other diseases out there like parkinsons, MS, and more. We can not be superman, or superwomen, when it is our own bodies that turn on us, or go bad. But, we can resist, fight back, and fight them as one, that is what mankind is best at folks, uniting when needed. I know as I age, the human body has it’s limits in many ways, parts go wrong and do not always work right, we need medications, theraphies, Doctors and hospitals to survive. So, mankind should take care of it’s own, but to do so, means making it all affordable for all of us too. What gets in mankinds way, most of the time, I have seen in my life, greed, the lust for power and position, jealousy, and anger. We all suffer from it, because we all want to have the best of everything, yet not everyone can, so we jostle, we fight, we argue, we yell, we scream and we compete. In the end, to get what we want, because we are so needy or greedy, we will stomp out each other if we can, stop and think folks, is it worth it, to eliminate your fellow man for such things in life? I remind all sharing is caring, smiles.

It is now 7;36 am on a quiet Sunday Morning here in Westborough, Ma.. The sun has risen now, the dogs are waking up, and so is mankind in general. I live in a 55 plus condo community these days. Yes I have my own condo to myself at 956 square feet big. I mind my own business daily, I read, I write, I build puzzles, I walk a lot, I walk to the lake here, or go to the clubhouse at times. I try to interact with those i can as i do, for the older i get, the more alone I feel, my wife as I said has been gone now for over 14 months. I miss her company, our converstaions, our closeness we had, the laughter we shared, the interaction we had, it is just a natural lose I know for all of us pass on, but it does not allieviate the feeling of loneliness I get. When you live with someone for 28 years, and you know what they want each day and how to care for them and you do so out of love, and then suddenly they are gone, it does leave a hole in your life, you do not hurry to fill.

I watched when younger how, my parents who raised me were, Constant fighting, yelling and clashes daily. But I also watched how they stayed together, how they clung to one another through it all and made it work. When my step-father died, I watched how my mother his partner for 40 years, tried to hang on and keep going, and couldn’t, so she died one year and one day after he did. They rest in peace now together for eternity. I admired the fact they didn’t seperate in the end, even when they divorced, they stayed in the same home till they died. They accomplished things no one in their families thought they ever would. In the end though the truth is, it was all life to them, it was how they were, you can’t change human nature or how people act or who they love or hate, but you can observe and learn from it all.

Anyway life’s lessons are always in front of us folks, the biggest things to overcome in life are 1) Trust, learning to trust another person. 2) Giving Respect as you recieve it. Being Honest, 3) Do not do to others what you do not want done to you! The world is a big place yes folks, but do us all a favor, if you can’t do the above three things for all you meet, then get away from who you can’t do it with and leave them be. Second thing I will tell you is learn to say I am sorry, and admit when your wrong, and life gets easier and it goes on. Life teaches us these things. Learn!

Anyway, that is refelecting on life’s little things this am for me. Let me say this to all, yes I usually spout about politics, and Trump, this week, as the Powers of Justice march forward and the news on that front carries on, I await what the results shall be as I watch. People do things for selfish reasons and we all know it too. So Let me say this to all, do not hate the person or a person, and I don’t, what I do dislike and hate is what was done by this person to all of America. So, I just want the American Justice System to do it’s job in this case, and to remember Equal Justice for All, and no exceptions no matter power, position or riches, Thank You!